


We Are Sick

by hunter_king



Series: Supernatural - J2 [20]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Abuse, Altered Mental States, Alternate Universe, Barebacking, Bottom Jared Padalecki, Dubious Consent, M/M, Minor Character Death, Obsession, Self-Harm, Slash, Swearing, Top Jensen Ackles, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-29 01:14:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 36,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16734222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunter_king/pseuds/hunter_king
Summary: Jensen Ackles: sick, twisted, cold-blooded killer. Jared Padalecki: broken, hopeless romatic, addicted to self harm. When their paths cross, it ignites a fire too bright to ignore.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the j2_reversebang in November 2018  
> Beta'd by jdl71  
> Art by emmatheslayer ([here](https://emmatheslayer.livejournal.com/544743.html))  
> I do not claim to know how a mental institution actually runs. This is a very FICTIONAL and UNREALISTIC depiction of how a hospital should be run. Please don't yell at me!

** Three Years Ago **

Jensen stared down at his sleeping mother, head tilting to the side as he took everything in. She looked so beautiful in her sleep. Her face was so smooth, free of worry lines and expressions that plagued her when she was awake. She looked innocent. Nothing like the horrid woman who had been calling him a freak, disgusting, and a disappointment earlier that day. Nothing like the mother who spat the word sinner in his face. If he hadn't been there to witness it himself, he would have never believed that just a few hours before, this woman had just sat back and watched as her husband delivered blow after painful blow to her second-born child.

His jaw ticked at the memory. Who the hell were they to judge him? Like they were perfect? Jensen happened to know that his father, Alan, was screwing the maid behind Donna's back. And Donna was blowing the pool boy every Thursday in the pool house. At least Jensen had never tried to hide who he was.

Slowly, he twisted his wrist, watching in awe as the moonlight hit the blade of the knife in his hand. They didn't accept him for who he was. They thought they were _better_ than him. Well, Jensen would show them just how wrong they were.

When he sat on the bed, Donna stirred, but didn't wake. Her body rolled to the side, one hand pushing under the pillow her head was resting on. Again, Jensen's head tilted as he just watched her sleep for a few more minutes. He knew what needed to be done. They couldn't get away with what they'd done to him. The way they'd made him feel – like he was worthless, and sick – it was unacceptable. Any _real_ parents would never stoop to that level. As far as Jensen was concerned, he was doing this family a favor.

He'd picked the perfect night for it, too. Alan was _working late_ , which Jensen knew meant he was fucking his secretary on that big desk he had in his office. Josh was still off at college. And Mackenzie was spending the night at one of her friend's houses. Right now, Jensen had Donna all to himself. And he'd make sure to use his time wisely. When he was finished with her, he'd wait for Alan to stumble in, and he'd take care of him too.

Reaching out with his free hand, Jensen brushed his fingers through Donna's hair, tucking a blonde strand behind her ear. When he'd been little, Donna would run her fingers through his hair like this if he'd had a bad dream, or he was afraid. That had been back when she loved him. They'd been drifting apart for years now – only today it had all come to a head. Donna had seen Jensen kissing the neighbor's son, and she'd lost it. Evidently, she'd told Alan, and they handled it the way they saw fit.

The memory had Jensen's fingers tightening around the handle of the knife almost painfully. He wanted to make her pay for what she'd done. But he needed to wait for the right moment. Jensen wanted his face to be the last thing his mother saw. She needed to look him in the eyes and _see_ what she'd done. Her actions had consequences, and Jensen needed to teach her that lesson, apparently.

Again, Donna stirred, her head rocking back and forth a few times before her eyes slowly blinked open. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, Donna knitted her brows in confusion. “J-Jensen?” she mumbled, pushing herself into a seated position as she stared at her son.

“Hi, Mommy,” Jensen greeted, eyes still locked on the knife in his hand as he traced random patterns into the bed sheets. It was like he was mesmerized – unable to take his eyes off the blade as he thought about what was coming next. He knew the knife was sharp – he'd sharpened it himself in his room before he made his way into his mother's room. He didn't want anything to go wrong tonight.

Frowning, Donna pushed herself away from Jensen. “What are you doing in here?” she asked, watching her son warily. “I thought your father and I made it very clear that we wanted you out of our house!” She noticed that his eyes were focused on something in his hand, so she quickly looked to see what had his attention. Her breath hitched in her throat when she saw the knife.

Without thinking, Donna jumped from the bed, moving towards the phone on the nightstand. “I'm calling the police!” she yelled, grabbing the receiver and putting it against her ear. Her whole body was shaking as she started to dial 9-1-1.

Before she could dial the full number, the phone was ripped from her hands and tossed against the wall, cracking the plaster where it hit. “Jensen!” she chastised, slowly backing away from her son. “What has gotten into you?!” She screamed when Jensen's hand wrapped around her wrist, stopping her from getting away. “Jensen, stop! Let me go!”

Unable to suppress the chuckle that escaped him, Jensen shook his head. “Stop?” he asked, huffing out another laugh. “You're asking me to stop? You mean like I asked you when Alan was _beating the shit out of me_?!” Angrily, Jensen shoved Donna back, the woman hitting the wall with a loud crack before her body slowly slumped to the ground.

Not giving Donna a chance to recover, Jensen knelt in front of her, the hand that wasn't holding the knife reaching forward and griipped the back of her hair. With one hard jerk, Jensen forced Donna to look at him, seeing the hatred in his eyes as he brought the knife to her face. “You think I'm a _freak_?” he asked, dragging the tip of the knife down Donna's cheek gently enough not to leave any cuts behind. “That I'm... _disgusting_?” Pressing just a little harder, Jensen smiled when he saw red in his blade's wake. “A _disappointment_ , huh Mommy?”

When Donna said his name, Jensen jerked her hair once more. She cried out in pain, but she shut up nonetheless. “It's my turn to talk,” he hissed, pressing the knife against her opposite cheek. “What was the word you used earlier? _Sinner_?” Smiling widely, Jensen allowed the blade to slice into Donna's cheek again, eyes locked on the blood that dribbled onto the blade. “I'll show you just how much of a sinner I can be.”

Done talking, Jensen pulled the blade away from Donna's face. His eyes were cold as he pulled his arm back moments before he thrust forward. A wide smirk came to his lips as Donna breathed in a shocked gasp, his blade slicing through her like she was butter. Slowly, Jensen pulled the knife back, eyes once again locked on the blood now covering his weapon. It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

The sound of a door shutting brought him back to reality, Jensen quickly jerking his head toward the bedroom door. Pushing to his feet, Jensen paid no attention to Donna's body as it fell in a lifeless heap on the floor where he'd been kneeling. Instead, he stalked down the stairs, moving towards the living room where he knew Alan would be joining him soon. Right after he got his after work beer – like clockwork. 

Sure enough, Alan appeared in the archway a few moments later, taking a long pull from his beer as he used the remote to turn on the television. Jensen didn't hesitate. He reached for the older man, grabbing him by the front of his suit and hurling him into the room completely. The beer bottle shattered along with the coffee table when Alan fell on top of it.

Where there had been fire earlier, there was nothing but fear in Alan's eyes when he realized that Jensen was standing over him with a knife. Jensen wanted to see the light go out from behind Alan's eyes when he took his life.

It was different than what he'd planned with Donna. He actually wanted to talk to his mother – explain to her why he was doing this. But with Alan, he wasn't interested in talking. He just wanted him gone. He stalked towards his father, twirling the knife in his fingers idly. However, before he could use it, Alan took a piece of the coffee table and swung it in Jensen's direction, hitting him in the head. When Jensen's head swung to the side, Alan rolled himself over onto his stomach, trying to crawl away from his deranged son.

Jensen groaned in frustration as he felt pain shoot through him. Slowly, he blinked his eyes open, feeling blood dripping down his forehead and over the bridge of his nose. Now, he was upset. Seeing that Alan was trying to get away from him, Jensen grabbed the older man's ankle, hauling him back to the center of the room before he flipped Alan onto his back roughly. His arm drew back moments before he plunged the knife into Alan's chest, giving it a twist for good measure. He smiled wickedly as Alan's eyes widened in shock at the initial blow, his entire body stiffening before it went lax beneath Jensen. 

As Jensen pulled back, leaving the knife in Alan's sternum, a single tear slipped from Alan's right eye, falling to soak into the older man's hair. Slowly, Jensen looked down at his hands. They were covered in blood. Silently, he moved to the upstairs bathroom, turning the water to scalding as he stripped out of his sleep pants and T-shirt. One look in the mirror revealed a large wound on his forehead – that was probably going to need stitches.

Unable to suppress the groan that escaped him when he stepped under the spray, Jensen let his head fall forward, palms splayed on the shower wall. The water was hot – too hot – though Jensen didn't move to turn the cold spray on. Instead, he pulled back from the wall, letting the water wash the blood from his hands before he ran them through his hair, opening his mouth to collect water before spitting it out.

After a few minutes, Jensen stepped from the shower, leaving the water running. He slung a towel loosely around his hips once he'd dried off, making his way to his bedroom. Once there, he pulled on a pair of boxer briefs. He then pulled on his jeans and an olive colored Henley. The last thing he grabbed was his leather jacket.

Just as he was making his way down the stairs, the door was kicked in and a gun was in his face. Police officers flooded the house, the first officer still having his gun trained on Jensen. The scene before them was horrific. There was no denying what he'd done, not that Jensen tried. His hands were cuffed behind his back as the officer read him rights, dragging him from his home and shoving him into the back of the police car.

**~~**

** One Week Ago **

Jared cried as he pushed his way into the bathroom, ignoring his roommate when she asked him what was wrong. He slammed the door behind him, throwing the lock into place. If he didn't, Adrianne would think that she could just walk in here, and Jared wasn't in the mood for company. His back slid down the door as he fell, knees drawing up against his chest as he wrapped his arms around his calves.

The cell phone he had squeezed in his hand dug into his palm, Jared biting into his bottom lip when he heard the device creaking under his hold. If he didn't let it go, he was going to break it. Slowly, he rolled the phone in his hand, punching in the pass code to reveal the text message that he'd read moments before locking himself in here.

_I'm sorry that I have to do this through a text message. I just didn't know how to look you in the eyes and tell you this. I want to break up. After everything that's happened in the last three months, I think you should just take some time to yourself. Let yourself heal before you try to jump into anything serious with anyone. Including me. Jared, please get yourself some help. The path that you're on is only going to end badly. If you need a friend, of course I will be here for you. But I just can't keep living like this. You need help. And I know you won't get it if we're together. You say you don't see a problem with what you're doing, yet you hide it from everyone. Please, I am begging you, from the bottom of my heart, get some help. Before it's too late._

Get help? Jared didn't need help. What he needed was for people to stop walking out on him. It seemed like it was happening more often now. This relationship had only lasted for a few months. At least the last one had been almost a year before he was tossed to the curb. Everyone always left him. His parents had done it when he was a baby, and every man he'd been involved with since he entered the dating world had left.

Adrianne was still here, but Jared knew she would leave him, too. It was only a matter of time. Eventually, she would find out Jared's secret, and she would abandon him – just like they all had. Didn't they understand that he only did this _because_ they left?! It was the only time he needed to feel something other than the emotional pain. 

When things were going good in his relationships, Jared was fine. He was happy. He would feel like he was on top of the world, and nothing could bring him down. Only, every time, it seemed like something went wrong. A fight would happen, or Jared would feel like he was being pushed away, and he'd _need_ it. When it happened, there was nothing Jared could do to stop himself. 

Hearing Adrianne knocking on the door, Jared ducked his head, pulling his knees closer to his chest as another tear slipped down his cheek. “I don't want to talk about it!” Jared called, biting into his bottom lip as he shook his head. His eyes darted around the room, fingers twitching with the need to feel something – _anything_. “Please just leave me alone! I'll be out when I'm ready!”

After a few more moments, Jared heard the main door opening. He could hear Jason talking in hushed tones with Adrianne before there was another soft knock on the door. 

“Jared, sweetie,” Adrianne started. “I know you don't want to come out and talk right now, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving for a little bit.” Pressing her open palm against the door, Adrianne bit into her bottom lip. “I'll be back later, and we can talk, all right? Call me if you need me.”

The door closed a few moments later, letting Jared know that he was alone in the room now. Slowly, he pushed himself off the floor where he'd been pressed against the bathroom door. His hand gripped the door handle before he pulled the door open, tear filled eyes scanning the room. Now that he was alone, he could stay in the main room without feeling like he was going to be bombarded with questions.

Slowly, Jared made his way to the kitchen, placing his phone on the counter top as he moved to the fridge. As he poured himself a glass of water, Jared thought about the last time he'd been with Tom. The memory replayed in his mind like a high-definition instant replay.

_”Jared, what is this?” Tom asked, pulling away from Jared slightly so he could get a better look at the wound on Jared's thigh. “Did someone cut you?”_

_Jared bit into his bottom lip as he tried to repress a moan of frustration. Things were just getting to the good part, and now Tom was examining Jared's thigh like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. Instantly, Jared regretted his decision to run that blade over his thigh the night before. He and Tom had been fighting, and Jared had just been so hurt – he didn't know what else to do. “Tom, don't worry about it, babe. Just keep going.”_

_Frowning, Tom pulled completely back now, pushing himself off the mattress. “Don't worry about it?” he asked, shaking his head in disbelief. “Jared, that wasn't there the other day.” He saw Jared naked quite a lot these days, and he would have known if there was a large slice in Jared's perfect skin. “What happened to you? Who did this to you?”_

_Again, Jared bit into his bottom lip, shaking his head. “N-No one did it to me,” he promised, pushing himself up so that he was now sitting instead of laying on his back. “I-I did it.” His eyes lowered in shame at the admission. “I was upset that we were fighting...and it just kind of happened.”_

_Tom's frown deepened at Jared's words. “You_ cut _yourself?” he asked. “On purpose?” His eyes widened when Jared nodded, shaking his head in disbelief once more. “Why?”_

_Why? That was a really good question. “I don't know,” Jared admitted, eyes ticking up to meet Tom's. However, when he saw the look in his boyfriend's eyes, Jared quickly looked away. “I told you, I was upset, and it just sort of happened.”_

_Flabbergasted by his boyfriend's actions, Tom tried to get it through Jared's head that this wasn't something they could just skip over and ignore. “Jared, cutting yourself doesn't_ just happen _,” he tried. Suddenly, he thought about all of the scars on Jared's body. They all looked similar to this cut. And they were all in places nobody could see them. “You've done this before, haven't you?” he asked, frowning once more when Jared didn't answer him. “Jared, answer me! Have you done this before?!”_

_When Tom raised his voice, Jared jumped slightly. “Yes,” he finally answered. Again, his eyes ticked up to meet Tom's. “Don't look at me like that,” Jared pleaded, seeing the look of pity in Tom's eyes. “I don't see what the problem is. I'm not hurting anyone.”_

_“You're hurting_ yourself _!” Tom exclaimed, feeling guilty for shouting when Jared jumped again. “Jared, honey, please, listen to me. You can't keep doing this. You need to get some help. I'll go to therapy with you if that's what it takes, but this has to stop.”_

_Anger bubbled up inside Jared when Tom mentioned therapy. He wasn't crazy! He didn't need therapy. “I'm fine!” he spat, pushing himself off the bed and grabbing his jeans. The mood was ruined, anyway. Stuffing his feet back into his boots, Jared continued, “Like I said, I'm not hurting anyone. I'm fine. I've been doing this for a while now. I know how to handle it.”_

_Angrily, he zipped up his hoodie, heading towards the door. “And don't be running around telling people about this either. It's none of their business.” Opening the door, Jared mumbled, “I'll see you later.” It slammed behind him as he stuffed his hands into his pockets, hunching his shoulders._

That had been almost a week ago. And Jared hadn't seen Tom since. Sure, they'd texted back and forth, but it wasn't anywhere near how it used to be before Tom found out Jared's secret. Honestly, Jared should have seen this coming. But he didn't – he'd been blind. Maybe he'd just been trying to ignore the signs because he didn't want to believe what was coming. 

Whatever the case was, it didn't matter now. Tom was gone. Jared was alone again. His eyes landed on the box cutter that was sitting on the counter as he downed the last of his water. Adrianne had been unpacking some things she'd gotten in the mail this morning when Jared left – she must have forgotten to put the box cutter away.

Slowly, Jared allowed his fingers to wrap around the cool metal, biting into his bottom lip as he lifted it so that it was level with his eyes. Using his free hand, Jared gripped the top of the blade, pulling it free from its holder. Now that he held just the blade in his hands, Jared tossed the cutter down, letting it slide across the counter.

This was his life. He was going to be alone forever. As soon as anyone found out about what he did to himself, they were going to leave him. Jared just had too much baggage to expect anyone to love him. Another tear slipped down his cheek as he thought about how much better off everyone would be if he wasn't in their lives. All he ever did was burden everyone. He'd been a burden to his parents, which was why they hadn't wanted him. He was a burden to Tom now that he knew his secret. And once Adrianne found out, he'd be a burden to her, too.

Swallowing thickly, Jared pressed the blade against his wrist. He bit into his lip as a hiss escaped him when the cool metal slid over his skin, leaving a line of red in its wake. Slowly, he switched hands, mimicking his earlier actions against his right wrist. This was it. He wasn't going to be a burden on his friends anymore.

As he watched his blood ooze from the wounds on his wrists, Jared felt his body getting weaker and weaker. Finally, his legs couldn't hold him up any longer, buckling under his weight, sending him crashing to the floor. For a brief minute, Jared regretted his decision, breaths panting out of him as black dots started forming behind his eyes.

The last thing he saw were two puddles of red slowly growing beside him before his vision went completely black.

A few hours later, Adrianne returned home, laughing at something Jason had said. She noticed that Jared wasn't in the bathroom anymore, so she figured he was at least feeling better. “Babe, I'm going to grab a glass of wine!” she called as she headed into the kitchen. “Do you want anything?”

She heard Jason say that he wanted a water as she moved towards the fridge. However, before she could reach her destination, she saw Jared lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood. “Oh my God!” she screamed, dropping to her knees and grabbing Jared's arm, forcing him onto his back. She didn't miss the slashes on his wrists as she felt for a pulse. It was there, but barely. “Jason, call 911!” she ordered, reaching for the towels that were hanging on the stove door and wrapping them tightly around Jared's wrists.


	2. Chapter Two

Jared sighed as he pushed himself further into the small chair, trying to hide himself from the rest of the hospital. His arms tightened where they were crossed over his chest, knees drawing up closer to his abdomen as he curled himself into the tightest ball he could manage with his large frame. 

It had been four days, three hours, and twenty seven minutes since he'd been admitted to the Austin State Hospital. Already, he wanted to go home. He didn't belong here. So he'd cut his wrists and almost bled out on the kitchen floor last week? So what?! He was fine now! Adrianne had gotten to him in time, and he was perfectly fine. Sure, there was still that burning desire to run a blade across his limbs, but he wouldn't. _Couldn't_ actually – not while he was in here. 

The doctors who had taken care of him at Seton Southwest Hospital where he'd been taken after the incident had transferred him here after his three day psychiatric evaluation. Apparently, Jared hadn't passed the oral exam, and now he was stuck here for God only knew how long! And he had to go to mandatory therapy sessions every Wednesday – another perk of his sentence. 

Not that Dr. Ferris was bad – it wasn't like that at all. In all honesty, Jared kind of liked her. She was nice, and when he talked, she really listened. The only problem was that she was trying to _fix_ him. Jared didn't need to be fixed. He just wanted out of here. As far as he was concerned, that would fix all of his current problems.

Suddenly, there was a hand of Jared's shoulder, causing him to almost jump out of his skin. His eyes swung to the new arrival, frowning when he saw that it was Misha Collins. Other than Jared, Misha was one of the only sane people who inhabited this place. And because of that, they'd become pretty close friends. “What are you doing sneaking up on me?” Jared grumped, returning to his earlier position. “You know I don't like it when people sneak up on me.”

“I wasn't sneaking,” Misha assured his friend. “I said your name, like, five times before I actually got over here.” Rolling, his eyes, Misha propped his feet up on the small table in front of his chair, leaning back as he got comfortable. “It's not my fault you don't listen.”

Another frown came to Jared's lips when Misha accused him of not listening. Misha was a liar – he hadn't said anything before he touched Jared. If there was one thing Jared had learned being in this place, it was that he always needed to be on red alert. The people here weren't all there in the head – some of them were out to hurt the other inhabitants. And Jared wasn't planning on leaving this facility in a body bag. “Whatever,” he mumbled, not wanting to start an unnecessary argument.

Misha shook his head as he stared at Jared. The kid frowned too much. He was going to get early wrinkles. “Did you hear about the dance the staff is putting together for us?” he finally asked, figuring he'd at least _try_ to cheer Jared up. “Thursday night, they're going to clear out the cafeteria and let us all hang out. There's gonna be punch, and music, and dancing – it sounds like a fun time.”

The last thing Jared was interested in was a dance. Why the staff felt it necessary to let them have some semblance of normalcy was way beyond him. There were actual killers in this hospital, and they wanted to let them have fun. Those people deserved to be locked up and have the key thrown away as far as Jared was concerned. He sure as hell didn't want to socialize with them. It was bad enough he had to share the hallways with those people. “M'not going,” he answered, burrowing deeper into his chair.

Again, Misha frowned. “You don't have a choice,” he argued, pulling the flier he'd swiped off the bulletin board from his robe. Thrusting it in Jared's direction, he pointed to the bold print at the bottom. “Mandatory. From eight to eleven.” Chuckling, Misha folded the paper back up, tucking it back into his robe. “I guess you're just going to have to stay up a little past your bedtime Thursday night, Jay.”

Of course the damn dance was mandatory. Jared forgot that he wasn't allowed to make his own decisions in this place. Sure, they wanted you to _think_ you were choosing for yourself, but Jared knew the truth. It was all a ruse. If the staff didn't want a patient to think or feel something, they did everything in their power to make their wish come true. Just another reason Jared wanted to get out of here. He hated not being in control. “Great,” he growled, eyes shifting from Misha to another patient who was walking by him. He could never be too careful.

Unlike Jared, Misha didn't constantly watch his back while he was here. They had security guards to keep them safe. And although getting Jared to believe it was like pulling teeth, none of the other patients cared enough about them to start anything. They were all too busy worrying about their own issues. Then again, Misha had been here _a lot_ longer than Jared, so he figured Jared would get that some day. 

Also unlike Jared, Misha was excited about the dance. _Really_ excited. And he wanted his friend to share just a little bit of that excitement with him. “Oh come on, Mr. Grumypants!” he exclaimed, leaning forward to slap Jared in the arm. “You're bringing me down! And this is supposed to be a happy, upbeat thing! I mean think of all of the tail that's going to be there!” Slowly, his eyes moved towards the nurses station, eying up the goods. “Like Katie. I'll bet she's going to wear something short to show off those perfect legs of hers.”

He was getting off track. Quickly, he turned his attention back to Jared. “Or Danneel, if that's more your style. But I think she's porking one of the other patients, so I'd stay away from her.” Thinking for another moment, Misha snapped his fingers before he continued, “Genevieve! She has it _bad_ for you, dude. Just say the word, and she'd be riding your rod all the way into next Sunday.”

Sometimes, Jared wondered why he even spoke to Misha. He was so crass, and all he cared about was sex most of the time. Not to mention, Jared had to wonder if Misha even listened to him when he spoke. “Misha, you know that I'm gay,” he reminded, brows knitted in frustration as he stared at the other man. “I told you about this the other day when you were trying to hook me up with Cindy.”

Now that Jared mentioned it, Misha remembered that conversation. Sometimes his head just wasn't all there – it was the drugs they had him on. “Oh yeah, right,” he mumbled, glancing around the room once more. “Oooh, what about Jeffrey?” he finally suggested. “He'll be there more than likely to keep the peace, or whatever. I bet he'd take you for a spin. Not to mention, it would be good to get in with the security guard.” Eying up Jeffrey, Misha mused, “I bet he'd like it if you called him _Daddy_.”

Kicking his leg out to get Misha's attention off of the security guard, Jared huffed, “Dude, you're sick.” He couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him when Misha just shrugged. Maybe that's why he talked to Misha – he had no shame. And he was pretty hilarious. He always managed to put Jared in a better mood. “Look, I'm not trying to hook up at this thing. I just want to go and get it over with.”

Misha groaned in disapproval at Jared's words. “Can you at least try to have fun?” he pleaded. “You're 22 years old! There's no need for you to be such a sour puss! Or a damn prude! I mean seriously, when is the last time you got any?!” Shaking his head, Misha griped, “It's not like you're some hideous ogre. If I was of the gay persuasion, I'd let you ride my stick.” A wide smile came to his lips as he raised his brows, tilting his head to the side. “Hey, depending on how the punch tastes, maybe I'll let you ride my stick regardless.”

Again, Jared rolled his eyes, giving his head a shake as he scoffed. And no, he wasn't thinking about riding Misha's stick right now. Not at all.

**~~**

A wide, seductive smile came to Jensen's lips as he leaned over the nurses station, moss green eyes locked on Danneel Harris. Any time Jensen needed something, he'd go to her – she worked here so she had the inside scoop on everything and everyone. And as long as Jensen played his cards right, she would tell him anything he wanted to know. 

Right now, he wanted to know about the new guy. He'd showed up about four days ago and really made an impression on Jensen. That was odd. Usually, Jensen didn't pay much mind to the other patients. Well, except Cindy because when Danneel was off, he needed _something_ to play with to pass the time. But this kid just rolled in with his shaggy brown hair, soulful hazel eyes, and dimples that had blood shooting straight to Jensen's dick. He needed to know more about him.

When she realized that Jensen was leaning against the counter, Danneel couldn't hide the smile that came to her lips. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she moved towards him. “Jensen, you know you can't look at me like that while I'm working,” she chastised, keeping her voice low so he co-workers couldn't hear what she was saying. 

“I can do whatever I want, sweet thing,” Jensen corrected, reaching out and pushing the other side of Danneel's hair behind her ear so it matched. Jensen liked symmetry. “You really should wear your hair back. There's no need to cover this beautiful face of yours.” His smile widened when Danneel dipped her head to hide the blush that worked up her cheeks. He knew exactly what to say to her when he needed something.

Although she knew that they were playing with fire by being here like this while she was out in the open, Danneel also knew that Jensen didn't like to hear the word no. She wasn't stupid – she knew that half of the time their interactions were about Jensen pumping her for information, but she didn't care. He was hot, and mysterious, and dangerous – a real bad boy type, which is exactly the kind of guy she went for. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” she asked, eyes ticking to Genevieve and Katie to make sure they weren't paying attention to her.

His eyes snapped back to Danneel when she spoke to him, having migrated to Jared where he was sitting in that chair laughing with another patient. “New guy,” he started, tongue dragging over his plush lips. He didn't miss the way Danneel's eyes followed his movements. “I wanna know what you know.”

Frowning slightly, Danneel pulled back from Jensen a little. “Jared?” she asked, eyes moving to look at the young newbie. “I mean, I don't really know a lot about him. I wasn't assigned to his case.” Her eyes moved back to Jensen as she continued, “All I know is that he got here a few days ago. I guess he was an attempted suicide case.”

When Danneel said suicide, Jensen's eyes snapped back to her, anger in their depths. “He tried to kill himself?” he asked, baffled. “Why?” There was no explanation that he could see. Someone so beautiful couldn't possibly be so sad that he'd want to take away his own life. And if it was true, Jensen wanted to know why he'd done it, and how he could fix it.

Again, Danneel frowned when Jensen spoke. “I don't know,” she answered, shaking her head. “Like I said, I wasn't assigned to his case.” It didn't take much to realize that Jensen wasn't paying attention to her anymore. Sighing, Danneel grabbed a few folders and tucked them under her arm, needing to get back to work. “I can ask Genevieve for you,” she offered. “She's his nurse.”

Jensen knew he'd pissed Danneel off by not paying attention to her, but he couldn't help it. There was something about Jared that made it so hard for Jensen to pull his attention away from him. His eyes ticked back to Danneel when she suggested getting Genevieve's help, that seductive smirk plastering itself on Jensen's lips once more. “You do that, pet,” he ordered gently, hand reaching for Danneel's cheek before he ran the pad of his thumb across her bottom lip. “Come by my room later and let me know what you found out.”

Although Jensen had made the comment sound like a question, Danneel knew better. When Jensen didn't get what he wanted, he was... _unpleasant_ to put it mildly. Danneel wasn't an idiot – she'd done her homework on this one. After all, she'd been assigned Jensen's case three years ago when he had gotten here. The guy had _murdered_ his parents in cold blood. And according to Samantha's notes from the mandated therapy sessions Jensen had, he felt no remorse. 

Honestly, Danneel didn't even remember how her little arrangement with Jensen had even started. It seemed so long ago now. She'd been new here, she remembered. She hadn't had a chance to realize just how dangerous most of the patients in this place were. And Jensen had been so nice to her when they interacted. The fact that he was so attractive was just the icing on the cake. Before she knew it, she was in some sort of twisted relationship with him, and it was too late to back out now.

“Y-Yeah,” she breathed, smiling softly at Jensen. “Genevieve and I have lunch together today, so I'll ask her about him. I mean, I'm sure she'll know everything about the kid. She has the biggest crush on him. He's all she's been talking about for the last four days.”

As soon as the words left her lips, Danneel knew she'd said something wrong. Jensen's eyes were blazing as they stared daggers at Genevieve, then swung directly on her. “Does she, now?” he mused, a small, wicked grin on his lips where the seductive smile had been moments before. That just wouldn't do. “She has good taste.” Frowning, his eyes locked on Genevieve once more, Jensen spoke in hushed tones once more, “You better take care of that, doll face.”

With that, Jensen stalked away, the backs of his fingers brushing against Danneel's cheek before he was gone. She felt a shudder run through her as she thought about what had just transpired between the two of them. Briefly, she thought about what would happen if she didn't _take care of it_ , as Jensen had put it. Would he hurt Genevieve? Had she just put a target on her friend's back?

Pushing those thoughts from her mind, Danneel turned towards Genevieve, a wide smile on her lips. “Hey,” she greeted, her hand touching her friend's elbow. “Let's do lunch together today, okay?” Biting into her bottom lip, her eyes ticked towards Jared briefly before they landed on Genevieve again. “I have some questions about your new favorite patient.”

A small frown came to Genevieve's lips when Danneel mentioned Jared. “Jared?” she asked, following Danneel's gaze to her new and exciting project. “What about him? I didn't think you were one to horn in on other people's workload.”

Maybe this was going to be harder than she thought. Usually, Genevieve was very forthcoming with her patients, but Danneel knew this one was special. When he'd gotten here, Genevieve told her that Jared was going to be hers by the time he was ready to be checked out. So her friend was being a little territorial at the moment. It wasn't uncommon for Genevieve to get this way when a boy she liked was involved. Especially after Danneel had started a relationship with one of the male nurses on staff that Genevieve had her eye on. But she hadn't called dibs, so it didn't hurt their friendship too badly.

Quickly, Danneel put on a happy smile, gently swatting Genevieve's arm. “I don't,” she assured the other woman. “I was just thinking since we have lunch together today, we could talk a little bit. I know how you feel about him, and I just want to check a few things out.” Placing her hand on Genevieve's upper arm, Danneel concluded, “I just want to make sure he's a good guy. Since he's probably going to be stealing my best friend's heart.”

The frown that was marring Genevieve's features quickly morphed into a sheepish grin. “Oh, well, when you put it that way, how can I resist?” she chuckled. “I have to take some meds to the guy up on five, but that's all I've got before lunch. Meet me here around 12? We can go to that cafe a few blocks over. I need some stronger caffeine than what they're serving here today. I'm buying.”

After they made their plans, the girls separated and moved off to do their own things. It wasn't long before they were meeting in the main lobby and setting off towards the cafe. Danneel had a job to do, and she wasn't going to disappoint Jensen. She was too scared to disappoint Jensen.

**~~**

At around 9:30, Danneel snuck into Jensen's room, a file folder gripped tightly in her hands. She'd pumped Genevieve for as much information as she possibly could without making her suspicious while they were at lunch that afternoon. And when she came back to work, Danneel had made up her own little file on Jared Padalecki. “Jensen?” she called softly as she silently closed the door. “Are you awake?”

“Did you get what I asked?” Jensen asked, smirking when Danneel jumped and turned towards him. He was awake. Jensen didn't sleep much. Usually, when they were all sent to their rooms, Jensen would just sit up and think. Tonight had been no different. The last few days he'd been thinking about a certain young man with hazel eyes and dimples. Now, he was going to do a little recon. Maybe this way, he could get the kid out of his head.

Danneel hadn't expected Jensen to be out of bed, let alone standing behind her. The room was pitch black, so it took her eyes a minute to adjust before she could see the other man. “I did,” she answered, extending the folder to Jensen. When he snatched it from her hands, she couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine. “Please don't let anyone see you with that. If anybody finds out that I'm helping you, I could lose my job.” She _really_ couldn't afford to lose her job right now.

Having been in this hospital all day thinking about Jared, Jensen had worked up quite the sexual appetite. And Danneel had done a really good job. She deserved a reward. “No one is going to find out,” he promised, pushing past her so he could make his way to the bed. He tucked the folder under his pillow for safe keeping until he could read through it before he turned his attention back to Danneel. “Now,” he breathed, biting into his bottom lip as he tugged his hospital pants down to the middle of his thighs. “Come here and get your reward, pet.”

He was using her – Danneel knew that. And she knew that the feelings she had started to develop for Jensen were only growing stronger each time she allowed him to touch her like this, but she just couldn't bring herself to care. She'd worked her ass off to get that file on Jared, and she deserved a reward, dammit.

With a seductive sway to her hips, Danneel closed the gap between herself and Jensen. She stood on her tiptoes as her fingers carded through Jensen's hair, ready for a kiss. However, she was abruptly reminded of the fact that they didn't kiss when Jensen pulled her hands away, shaking his head before he looked down at his erect member between the two of them. Right – how foolish of her to think that all of her hard work could reward her with a kiss.

Not bothering to argue, Danneel slid to her knees, tongue sliding along her lips briefly before she took Jensen into her mouth. A deep moan escaped her when Jensen reached down and gripped her pony tail, squeezing the back of her head as he started pumping his hips into her mouth.


	3. Chapter Three

Jared bit his thumb nail distractedly as he stared out the window. Dr. Ferris was talking to him about something, but Jared wasn't really listening. He felt bad because she always listened when he spoke, but he just wasn't in the mood for this today. Last night, he'd had trouble sleeping and he just wanted to leave. Jared was having a hard time adjusting to this life. He'd been dealing with a lot of emotional pain since his last session with Dr. Ferris, and he just... _needed_ to feel something other than this pain.

But it was impossible here. Honestly, Jared was surprised he was even allowed to go to the bathroom on his own. Everywhere he went, there were people watching him. Genevieve came into his room almost as soon as he woke up every day to check on him, and then he had to see Dr. Beaver to make sure his wounds weren't getting infected, and then on Wednesdays, he had to come here and talk to Dr. Ferris. Even when he was in the lobby, which was supposed to be _his_ time, he could feel Genevieve watching him. It was like he was a prisoner.

Of course, every time he saw Dr. Beaver, the older man would tell him that he wasn't. But it sure as hell felt like it. The security guard really added to the experience, too. One of these days, Jared was just going to lose it. He could feel it. Jeffrey wasn't _that_ big. If Jared was in the right frame of mind, he could easily overpower him and get the hell out of this joint.

The sound of Dr. Ferris calling his name ripped Jared out of his own head. “Huh?” he asked, his head snapping forward so he was looking at the doctor as his hand fell away from his face. “I'm sorry, Dr. Ferris. I wasn't listening,” he admitted, ducking his head as a deep blush came to his cheeks. Yeah, he was being an inconsiderate jerk right now. Dr. Ferris was just trying to do her job. The least he could do was pay attention.

A small smile came to Samantha's lips as she watched Jared. He was one of her favorite patients. He was so polite and sweet – it was a nice change from her usual brutes. She was still baffled by the fact that Jared was here because he'd tried to end his own life. There had to be so much pain hidden beneath his depths – it hurt Samantha to think about it. “I was just asking if you're excited for the dance tomorrow,” she explained.

Oh yeah, the dance. How could Jared forget? “Honestly? No,” Jared answered, once again ducking his head. “I just don't see the point. None of us are really friends here. I mean, there are a few acquaintances in the mix, but I wouldn't say any real _friends_. More like people we're forced to live in close quarters with. Why have a dance? So we can all mingle and become pals? It's just...juvenile. And stupid.”

Every time she had an appointment with Jared, Samantha was stunned by the new information she would learn. “You don't think it's a good idea to let everyone cut loose and have a little fun?” she asked, leaning back in her chair once more so she could jot down a few notes. “The staff, including myself, decided that it might be a good idea to let everyone just take a load off, so to speak. Besides, everyone loves dancing, Jared.”

Unable to bite back the scoff that escaped him, Jared smiled humorlessly. He hated dancing. “Yeah, well, Misha's excited about it,” he tried. “Does that count?” Sighing, he crossed his arms over his chest, trying to burrow into the couch. “I mean, I'll be there, obviously. And I might even have a good time. I don't know. It's possible, I guess. I just...don't really have high hopes about it.”

It was a shame that someone so young with such a beautiful face was such a cynic. They were really going to have to work on that. Unfortunately, they were just about out of time for the day, and Samantha still had one more appointment before her work day was finished. One of those brutes she'd been thinking about earlier. “All right, Jared,” she smiled, closing her file folder. “How about we work on you being a little more positive for next week? Go to the dance tomorrow night, have a good time, and just try to enjoy it. Okay?”

Although Jared wasn't a positive person, he nodded. “Okay,” he answered, flashing Dr. Ferris a smile equipped with dimples. “I'll try.” Slowly, he pushed himself out of his seat, arching his back as he stretched his achy muscles. “I'll see you next week, Dr. Ferris.” With that, Jared was out the door, closing it softly behind himself. As he walked down the hall, he bumped shoulders with another patient accidentally because he wasn't paying attention to where he was going. “Oh, I'm sorry,” he apologized with a frown, quickly turning to hustle back to his room. He didn't like the leering look that guy had given him.

**~~**

“Mr. Ackles,” Samantha frowned, leaning back in her chair as she crossed her legs. “You're late. For the _third_ time this week. Do I need to talk to Officer Whitfield about this?” Her stare was hard and unforgiving as Jensen threw himself on the couch in his cocky manner that he always had when he came in here. He was definitely one of her least favorite patients. But he had to come see her five days a week as part of his sentence. Much to her dismay. At least she got the weekend away from him.

It wasn't like she thought her sessions were helping this particular man. He was a criminal – a bad seed. She'd said it before, and she'd say it again, he deserved to be in lock up. But he was a master manipulator. He'd played the jury like a fiddle during his trial and they'd sent him here to serve his twelve year sentence. And in the last three years, he'd done _nothing_ to show Samantha that he regretted his actions. Honestly, in her professional opinion, Jensen was a narcissist – he wasn't capable of human emotion like remorse.

She'd written it in her report multiple times in hopes that they would just give up and make him stop coming to see her, but so far she had no luck. And Jensen made her uncomfortable. The way he would look at her sometimes – like he was imagining what her insides would look like on the outside. The thought made her shudder.

With his signature wicked grin on his lips, Jensen spread out on the couch, resting his head on the palms of his hands as he threw his arms behind his head. “What's up, Doc?” he greeted, legs crossing at the ankles so he was more comfortable. “You can tell good old Charles whatever the hell you want to.” Shrugging, Jensen added, “He probably won't do anything about it. But by all means, go nuts.”

Much like everyone who came in contact with Jensen, his parole officer was afraid of him. Of course, Charles would never admit it, but Jensen knew. He'd always been very good at reading people. Like how he knew Samantha was uncomfortable when he was around – her body language spoke volumes. And with the way Charles avoided him, and how he acted during his routine checks, Jensen knew that he was afraid. As he should be.

Frowning deeply, Samantha straightened in her chair, trying to act as calm as possible. Clearly threats didn't work with Jensen. “Have you thought at all about what we talked about yesterday?” she asked, pen at the ready so she could write up her notes.

Not ashamed at all, Jensen shook his head. “Not really,” he answered, grabbing a magazine and flipping through the pages. “There's nothing to think about. Every day I come in here, and every day you ask me the same damn questions.” Tossing the magazine aside when he didn't see anything appealing, Jensen sat up, elbows on his knees as he leaned forward. “How about this? Why don't you give me a study guide? I'll take it to my room, memorize the answers you want me to give you, then tomorrow when you ask, I'll be prepared. And then we can both get out of this mandated, hour long session in Hell.”

Again, Samantha frowned at Jensen. “It doesn't work that way, and you know it,” she ground out. She really hated working with him. “Look, these sessions aren't going to work if you're not open to it. So instead of fighting me at every turn, why don't you actually try to open up?”

“Fine,” Jensen breathed, leaning back as he threw his arms over the back of the couch on either side of him. “Why did I kill my parents? That's the million dollar question you want answered, huh?” When Samantha merely nodded, Jensen shrugged. “Because they pissed me off.” Smirking slightly, Jensen added, “Kind of like, you hurt me, I hurt you. Only I was a little more efficient.” He still remembered it like it had been yesterday. The blood on his knife. The way his mother had cried when he slid his blade into her. His memories were enough to get him hard just thinking back to it.

Although Jensen wasn't looking at her, Samantha could see his reactions. His body was reacting in a positive way while he spoke. Almost as if he was _aroused_. It was sickening to watch. Tearing her gaze away from Jensen, Samantha wrote a few sentences in her file. “So, you said they hurt you?” she started. “Was that because they didn't accept you as a homosexual? I mean, that would be traumatizing for any 23 year old man. But...they don't typically react with such violence.”

Another wide, malicious grin came to Jensen's lips at Samantha's words. “Oh, I'm not your typical guy, Doc,” he assured her. “Far from it.” He watched as Samantha's attention returned to her files. Whatever she was writing in that thing, she sure as hell had a lot to say. As she wrote, Jensen's eyes scanned the room, taking in all of the different aspects of the place. There was a letter opener on the desk behind Samantha which drew his attention. He could use that letter opener for a lot of different things that were so much more fun than sitting here bored while some shrink tried to pick his brain for information. 

The letter opener wasn't sharp like his knife had been, but it was probably good enough to get the job done. Jensen was a lot bigger than Samantha – it would have been easy to overpower her. He'd pin her to the desk with one hand while he grabbed the weapon with his other. She'd probably scream nice and pretty for him, too. But it wouldn't matter – it wouldn't save her. Jensen would slide the letter opener across her throat before anyone had a chance to interrupt them. He'd deal with the consequences afterwards – there was no point in letting the details ruin his good time.

Maybe that could be Danneel's next project – find him something sharp and pointy to play with. He was itching for a little fun. And this stupid dance tomorrow night wasn't the kind of fun he had in mind. Of course, it did have its perks. For one, Jared was going to be there. After all, it was a _mandatory_ extracurricular activity. And Jensen had been dying to get his hands on the younger man for almost a week now. 

His attention snapped back to Samantha when she started speaking again, though Jensen wasn't really listening. The only thing he could think about was how damn pretty she would look with her throat slit. Maybe that would finally shut her up. “Look,” he interrupted, moving to lay back down on the couch like he'd been when he first came into the room. “I didn't sleep all that great last night. And I'm not really in the mood to _talk_. So, if it's all the same to you, I'm just gonna take a little power nap for the last thirty minutes, and we can pick up this party tomorrow.”

Samantha had learned early on that arguing with Jensen was useless. If he was shutting down, there was no chance of her getting anymore information out of him today. No worries, there was always tomorrow, she supposed. “Let's just call it a day, Jensen,” she suggested, pushing herself out of her chair and moving to her desk to put some space between the two of them as Jensen got off of the couch. That cocky grin was still plastered on his face – she had nightmares about that grin.

“If you insist, Doc,” Jensen smirked, wasting no time getting out of that stuffy room. He had half a mind to just not show up tomorrow for his session, but he knew that would get Charles' ass down here a few days early. It wasn't that he was worried about repercussions – he just didn't want to see the asshole's ugly mug any more than he had to. So he'd go to his stupid therapy sessions, and he'd watch Samantha almost piss her pants for a little while, but he wasn't going to enjoy it.

Not that today's session had been a total bust. It had at least gotten him worked up a little bit. And it gave him some fun new things to think about. Not to mention he now had some more games for Danneel. Soon, it was going to be time to play with his puppet again – see how far he could push her with those pretty little strings he had control of. He loved testing the lengths she would go to please him.

When Jensen made it to his room, he shoved the door open, letting it slam closed behind him. The patients weren't really allowed to have their doors closed during the daylight hours, but no one ever said anything to Jensen about it. He needed his privacy since he was forced to stay here day in and day out. And since he wasn't a danger to himself, most of the hospital staff left him alone about it. After all, a happy, docile Jensen was more fun to deal with than a pissed off Jensen – the staff had learned that the hard way during the first few weeks of his stay here. 

Once he was alone in his room, Jensen flopped down on his bed. He'd done a little reading last night from the file Danneel had given him, but he hadn't gotten through the whole thing, so now was as good a time as any to keep learning new things about that delicious man he'd run into before his therapy session today. Those hard planes of muscle were well-hidden under Jared's baggy white T-shirt and his hospital pants, but Jensen had felt them when Jared nearly plowed him over today. His boy was gorgeous under that fabric – Jensen could tell.

Biting into his bottom lip, Jensen just barely stifled the moan that wanted to escape him at the thought of Jared writhing underneath him. Danneel had been nice enough to include a picture of Jared in the file she'd given him, Jensen quickly snatching it from the folder before he tucked the rest of the file back under his pillow where it belonged. 

Slowly, Jensen traced his finger along the photo of Jared. His index finger dragged along the outline of Jared's eyes, their perfect almond shape forcing Jensen to suppress another moan. Moving on to Jared's pointed nose with that sexy little mole just off to the side of it. Jensen dragged his tongue across his lips as his finger slid lower, tracing the outline of Jared's thin lips.

This time, Jensen didn't even bother holding in his moan. Damn, he could think of a dozen things he'd make this beautiful boy do with that mouth of his. His eyes stayed locked on the photo as Jensen allowed his hand to fall onto his chest. Still keeping his movements slow, teasing himself, Jensen slid his hand lower, down over his abdomen before he finally stuffed it into the front of his hospital pants. His fingers wrapped around his semi-hard dick on their own accord, dragging another moan from Jensen.

It was unusual for Jensen to touch himself. Generally, when he was feeling horny, he'd just go find whatever willing body to pound in to until he was satisfied. But the body he wanted right now wasn't anywhere easily accessible. Not to mention he'd never said two words to the guy, so there was just no chance he'd get his fix from the actual person right now. He could have gone to find Danneel, or Cindy, but they just didn't have the right body types for what he was craving right now. So, this was just going to have to do for the moment.

Jared was so innocent – Jensen could tell just by looking at the kid. He'd probably only ever been with a handful of people in his lifetime. That meant Jensen would probably have to show the kid the ropes when the time came. Not that he had a problem with that – it was actually a _huge_ turn on. Jensen could mold the kid into exactly what he wanted him to be in the bedroom in that case. He'd teach Jared _exactly_ how to please him and only him. The thought had his cock hardening to the point of it being almost painful.

His hips bucked up into his palm slowly at first, Jensen just teasing his body a little bit to get himself going. His tongue dragged over his lips once more before he sucked the bottom one between his teeth, biting down a little more roughly than he normally did. Jensen's thumb circled the head of his member, collecting the pre-cum that was gathering there to slick his way as his hand slid over his hard flesh. Another moan spilled from his lips as he picked up the pace.

As he jerked his member, Jensen thought about Jared. Specifically, Jared's mouth, pretending that instead of his own hand sliding along his skin, it was Jared's sweet mouth. His wrist twisted as he reached the head of his dick, tearing another moan from him as his eyes slipped closed. The photo of Jared fell from his fingers as his newly free hand gripped the bedsheets, twisting them around his hand. “Oh God...Jared...mmmm...yeah, baby,” he breathed, back arching off the bed as he felt his balls draw up tight against his body.

Hot spurts of cum shot from Jensen's dick, coating his hand and smearing on the inside of his hospital pants. He moaned softly as his head rolled on the pillow, staring down at the picture that had fallen on his floor. Only when he was soft did Jensen pull his hand away from his body, wiping the evidence of his pleasure on his right leg as he pushed himself to a seated position.

When he felt like he had full control of his motor functions again, Jensen pushed himself to his feet. He made his way to the small dresser sitting in the corner of his room. Once there, Jensen tugged out a fresh pair of hospital-issued scrub pants, quickly replacing the ones he'd soiled. As he made his way back to the bed, he leaned over to retrieve the picture of Jared, a small smile on his lips. Soon, this boy would be his to do with as he pleased.

Flopping down onto the bed once more, Jensen grabbed the file from under his pillow again. The dance was tomorrow, which meant he had under 24 hours to learn as much about Jared as he possibly could. After all, he didn't want to seem ill-prepared when he finally met the younger man. Jensen liked to show his knowledge when he met people. After all, knowledge was power. And Jensen wanted to make it _very_ clear to Jared on the first date just who held all of the power.


	4. Chapter Four

Jensen was itching for a fight as he stormed out of Samantha Ferris's office. The damn bitch was really getting on his nerves now. She was trying to dig into his past and bring up old memories that had no business rearing their ugly heads. When he'd gone in there for his first session, he'd warned that damn shrink that talking about Josh and Mackenzie was off limits. And Jensen had seen her writing something in her stupid fucking book, so he _knew_ there was no way she'd forgotten that conversation.

She was just trying to get into his head. Trying to play on the few emotions he had left. But he wasn't going to let her win. He'd shut her down faster than a cowboy could draw his pistol. Mackenzie and Josh were _off limits_. He wasn't budging on that. Not ever.

He growled in frustration when he felt a hand land on his shoulder. Without thinking, Jensen gripped the person's wrist, forcing their hand off his shoulder before he stepped back, wrenching the arm backward in a dangerously brutal position. One wrong move and this arm would snap at the shoulder. However, when Jensen realized that it was Christian, he quickly released him, shoving him away extra hard for good measure. “Don't fucking touch me,” he spat, continuing down the hallway in his anger.

Christian circled his arm backward slowly as he jogged to catch up to Jensen, grimacing in pain. “Damn Jensen, what the hell crawled up your ass and died?” he griped, ignoring the glare he got from the other man. “You know if you would have done that to any of the other staff members here, you'd be locked in solitary for a week.”

When Jensen first got here, he'd made an impression on Christian. He was rough around the edges, and he had a _take no shit_ attitude much like Christian himself, so they'd bonded pretty quickly. It didn't matter to Christian that Jensen had been accused of killing his family – he'd still befriended him without hesitation. After all, Christian knew that nobody was perfect. And after hearing Jensen's side of the story, Christian was pretty sure he would have done the same thing.

Well, he probably wouldn't have gone to the extreme of _killing_ his parents, necessarily. But he definitely would have metaphorically killed them. As in, cut them out of his life completely and _acted_ like they were dead. Jensen just didn't have that switch in his head that told him he was wrong when he'd come to that conclusion. And Christian didn't blame Jensen for that – it wasn't his fault he was made this way.

Realizing that Christian wasn't going to leave him alone, Jensen cracked. “It's that bitch Ferris,” he growled. “She's trying to get inside my head.” As he spoke, Jensen tapped his temple with his index and middle fingers repeatedly. “She's trying to make me remember that I have _feelings_ , or some shit.” Chuckling as he lowered his hand, Jensen continued, “Oh, I have feelings all right. Desires...just like any other guy. Like the strong desire I have to see her insides...on her outside. You know?”

The visual Jensen painted made Christian almost lose his lunch. “Uh, not really,” he answered, his face twisted in disgust as he shook his head. “Look, man, she's a shrink. She's _supposed_ to try to get inside your head – that's her job.” He was about to slap Jensen on the shoulder again, but he decided against it. He didn't need anything broken today. “Don't let her get to you. You only have to spend an hour a day with her. And from what I understand, you're allowed to basically do whatever you want for that hour. So just sit there and ignore her if that's what it takes.”

A deep frown came to his lips when Christian realized that Jensen was ignoring him. He hated it when Jensen got in these moods. Jensen had a temper that rivaled that of the Gods themselves. Jeffrey was going to have to be on red alert today, Christian supposed. Sighing, he tried to change the subject to something upbeat. “So, you excited about the dance tonight? You get to cut loose and just have some fun. Maybe dance with Danneel without having to worry about your little fling, or whatever it is, being found out?”

At the mention of the dance, Jensen relaxed a little bit. At least he had that to look forward to. Maybe Jared would come back to his room after and help him work off some of this newly found tension. The thought had him almost reaching down to adjust himself. He refrained, however, for Christian's benefit. “As a matter of fact,” he started, a wide smirk coming to his lips. “I am _ecstatic_ about the dance. I have big plans for a certain someone there.”

Christian couldn't help the smile that came to his lips when Jensen mentioned the possibility of a date. “Oh yeah?” he asked, nodding with approval. “Are you going to tell me who he is, or are you going to make me guess?” Suddenly, it occurred to Christian that Jensen may have been talking about a woman, too. Sometimes, he forgot that Jensen dabbled with women although he was gay. “Or...who she is, I guess I should say?”

As soon as he exited the corridor into the main lobby, Jensen's eyes found Jared. He was sitting in that damn chair he loved so much talking to that other patient he was always with. A wide smile came to Jensen's lips as he watched Jared tilt his head back with laughter. God, those dimples. This time, he reached down and adjusted himself through his pants. Smiling down at Christian, Jensen shrugged before he answered, “New guy.”

For a moment, Christian was frozen to his spot. He'd spoken to Jared a few times since he had gotten here, and he actually liked the kid. He was sweet, and adorable, and innocent. Nothing like the people Jensen usually went for. Nothing like the people Jensen _should_ be going for. Sure, Christian may have liked Jensen, but that didn't mean he thought he was a good guy. Just the opposite, in fact – Jensen was a lunatic, even if it wasn't his fault.

Quickly, Christian jogged after Jensen as his friend headed toward his usual corner. “Jared?” Christian asked with a soft chuckle. “Why?” Seeing the confused look Jensen was giving him, Christian explained, “I just mean, he's not like the people you usually go after, that's all.” Leaning against the wall beside Jensen when the other man perched on the window sill, Christian asked, “How do you go from banging Danneel Harris _and_ Cindy Sampson, to wanting to talk to someone like Jared?”

“What's wrong with me wanting to talk to him?” Jensen asked, brows knit as he stared hard at Christian. He was getting the impression that his friend was trying to talk him out of what he wanted. And that just wasn't okay with him. “You went from dating some loser to being with Steve. What made you decide to switch it up?”

Scoffing, Christian shook his head. “Oh, come on, Michael wasn't that bad,” he argued. Sure, the guy had some qualities that didn't exactly scream perfection, but Christian wouldn't go as far as to call him a loser. Then again, Christian was always accused of being too nice to people. “Besides, Steve and I...we just sort of happened. Neither one of us was looking for anything serious when we started working here. But...turns out, we clicked and the rest is history.”

 _Blah, blah, blah._ Jensen had heard the sappy love story before. He hadn't cared then, and he didn't care now. “You still didn't answer my question,” he accused, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited.

Another frown came to Christian's face when Jensen didn't drop the whole Jared thing. “There's nothing wrong with you wanting to talk to him,” Christian finally sighed. Regardless of what he said, Christian knew Jensen was going to do whatever the hell he wanted to do. “I just meant that I've talked to the guy a little since he got here. And...from what I can tell, you don't seem like his type.”

Maybe Jensen had been pumping the wrong person for information. Turning his attention fully to Christian now, Jensen demanded, “Yeah? And what the hell does that mean, Chris?” Jensen _hated_ it when people tried to tell him he couldn't have things. Especially things that he wanted as badly as he wanted this kid. “Why are you running around trying to figure out what the new guy's type is when you're with Steve?”

Offended that Jensen was suggesting he'd cheat on his boyfriend, Christian glared at the other man. “I wasn't hitting him, if that's what you're implying,” he assured Jensen. “I just happen to know that he's somewhat of a romantic. Like, he throws himself into relationships wholeheartedly, and he expects his partner to do the same.” Shaking his head, Christian scoffed. “When is the last time you were ever in a monogamous relationship, Jensen?”

 _Never_. That was the last time Jensen had been in a monogamous relationship. Christian knew that for a fact. And while he wasn't chalking this up as a win for himself just yet, Christian felt a little more confident now. “I mean, you know why he's here, right? He tried to kill himself.” When Jensen nodded, Christian asked, “Do you know _why_?” The look of puzzlement on Jensen's face was the only answer Christian needed. “His boyfriend broke up with him in a text message.” Again, Christian shook his head. “This kid isn't interested in someone who's going to play games with him.”

While it was true that Jensen wasn't exactly known for being faithful, that wasn't going to deter him from trying to get Jared. This newly found out information was going to be helpful though. That little piece of information hadn't been in the file that Danneel had given him. Figured she couldn't get one simple task right. And to think he'd let her suck his dick for that. In the future, he was going to have to be more careful when handing out reward.

Leaning back against the window, Jensen set his sights on Jared. He didn't back down when Jared's sweet hazel orbs locked on him. It was obvious that he was staring, but he didn't care. Eventually, Jared broke the contact, ducking his head in such a shy gesture that Jensen almost felt bad for the kid. _Almost_. He liked submission in his conquests. “But I want him,” he pouted. Slowly, his eyes dragged away from Jared so he could look at Christian. “And I _always_ get what I want.”

The signature smirk Jensen always wore slowly crept onto his face as he allowed his gaze to drift back to Jared. By the end of the night, this kid was going to be his.

**~~**

“Who is that guy over there by the window sill?” Jared asked, trying to shrink himself further into the couch. He didn't like the way he was being stared at. Like he was a slab of meat. It was the same look he'd gotten in the hallway yesterday when he'd bumped into the man. 

A small frown came to Misha's lips when he Jared interrupted his speech. Clearly, Jared hadn't been listening to him about his plans to get Katie into his bed after the dance. Rolling his eyes, Misha turned toward the opposite side of the room, squinting to see what Jared was talking about. “Him?” he asked, turning his attention back to Jared. “Dude, that's Christian. You know Christian.” Settling back down in his chair, Misha started again, “So, about Katie—”

Now, it was Jared's turn to roll his eyes. “Not Christian,” he complained. He'd met Christian when he first got here. He seemed nice enough. “The guy he's talking to.” A deep frown came to his lips as their eyes locked. For a few minutes they just stared at each other, neither willing to break the contact. However, when he saw that sadistic smirk forming on the guy's lips, Jared quickly ducked his head. “He keeps staring at me.”

Again, Misha turned toward the window sill, searching for the man Jared was so worried about. His eyes widened marginally when he realized who it was staring at Jared. Quickly, he flipped back in his seat so that he was facing Jared once more. “That's, uh, Jensen Ackles,” he explained. Judging by the look on Jared's face, the kid had no clue who Jensen Ackles was. Maybe that was for the best.

Then again, if he was staring at him enough to make Jared try to disappear into the couch, Misha figured it was probably best to let Jared in on who the guy really was. “You don't know who Jensen Ackles is, do you?” he asked, rolling his eyes when Jared shook his head. “Dude, how long have you been here? And did you live in a box before you got that cozy little suite with a view?”

Misha ignored the glare he got from Jared in response. Instead, Misha leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “That's the guy who murdered his parents in cold blood.” Misha didn't remember the story exactly, but he'd overheard people talking when they brought Jensen in. “He's been here a while. And he's made quite a name for himself, too.” Biting into his bottom lip, Misha ducked his head a moment before his eyes landed on Jared again. “If I were you, I'd stay the hell out of his way.”

Fear gripped Jared like a vice when Misha explained who Jensen was. It was just his luck to bump into a deranged killer – he was probably next on the guy's hit list. But he'd said he was sorry! A small frown came to his lips when he realized that Misha was smiling. This was _not_ a time to be smiling! “What's so funny?” he asked, brows knit in confusion.

Although he wasn't sure if it was a pivotal piece of information, Misha had heard something else about Jensen through the grapevine. He didn't even realize that he'd been smiling until Jared asked him what was funny. “Huh?” he asked, shaking his head. “Oh, it's nothing. Just...word around the campfire is that Jensen bats for the same team. So, I mean, since you're into that kinda thing, maybe you shouldn't stay away from him.”

It was clear that Jared wasn't understanding what he Misha was trying to say. “Jesus Jared, did you have any sexual experience before you came here?” he muttered. “Jensen...he likes men? Maybe that's why he's staring at you.” Chuckling, Misha slumped back into his chair, throwing one leg over the arm of it so he was comfortable. “Maybe he wants to introduce you to his third leg.” Shrugging, he added, “You know, let you take a sample of his beef stick.”

“I got it,” Jared interrupted, his cheeks burning hot with embarrassment. “Could you not talk so loud? You're going to draw attention to us.” His frown deepened as he tried to sink impossibly further into the couch, arms crossing over his chest more tightly. “And I won't be doing any of those things, I can assure you.”

Again, Misha shrugged. “Whatever,” he mumbled. “I don't care what you do with your millimeter peter. Just keep it away from Katie. I call dibs.” His eyes ticked to the clock on the wall before another wide smile came to his lips. “It's almost time for the dance, dude. You better go fix that mop on the top of your head.”

Misha just barely dodged the gigantic hand that swatted playfully at him as he headed toward his room. He'd spilled some pudding on his shirt earlier, and he needed to change. After all, if he was going to score tonight, he needed to look impeccable. Katie seemed like a classy lady – she'd want a well tailored man on her arm. Misha had already laid out his best hospital pants and his whitest T-shirt. He was ready.

**~~**

The dance was a mandatory three hour event that Jared did _not_ want to be a part of. The whole time, his eyes kept going to the clock to see how many minutes had passed by, and each time, he was disappointed. Honestly, Jared could think of a thousand other things he'd rather be doing than standing in the cafeteria with a SOLO cup full of fruit punch, staring at these hospital patients who thought they were going to be the next winner of _Dancing With the Stars_.

Misha had completely ditched him when they got here, mumbling something about needing to see a man about a horse. Jared hadn't really been listening. He'd known from the start that his friend was going to be flirting with Katie and trying to score a dance all night, so that didn't really leave much time for Jared. He'd danced with Dr. Ferris during one of the slow songs, which had been okay, but he was ready to go back to his room now. Unfortunately, he still had an hour and a half of torture to endure before he could get his wish.

Luckily, he only had to tell a few people that he wasn't interested in dancing during the first part of the dance. Most of the other patients were kind of leaving him alone, which he was at least grateful for. However, when he saw Jensen stalking toward him, Jared wished that he would have taken Genevieve up on her offer to dance. 

He was trapped. If he tried to go left, he'd be running right into Jensen. And if he tried to go right, he'd run into Jeffrey and possibly have to fight him off if Jeffrey thought he was trying to escape. Jared didn't want any sort of altercations right now. So, he took a deep, calming breath and waited for Jensen to stop moving. 

As soon as he was beside Jared, Jensen stopped. He was close enough to touch, though he made no move to do so. He didn't want to scare the younger man just yet. “Hi,” he greeted, his voice raised so Jared could hear it over the booming music.

“Hey,” Jared answered, the polite smile he was going for turning out to be more of a grimace as he tried to hide his fear. He wasn't sure who he'd learned it from, but someone once told him that psychos were like dogs – they could sense your fear. Jared was determined to get out of this without too many issues.

Jensen couldn't help the way his eyes raked over Jared. He'd watched the kid from afar, but up close and personal, it was an even more fabulous sight. And the way the kid smelled – Jensen could get lost in it. “You're not dancing,” Jensen stated the obvious, watching Jared's face. He was scared. Jensen liked that.

Shaking his head, Jared explained, “I'm not much of a dancer.” If he hadn't wanted to be here earlier, he _really_ wanted out now. Maybe he should have tried his cards with Jeffrey. It wasn't too late, he supposed. But he didn't want to get tossed into solitary. He'd heard stories of that place – he never wanted to witness it first hand. He needed to come up with another plan.

In all honesty, Jensen wasn't much of a dancer either. The only reason he hadn't skipped out yet was because he'd been waiting for this moment. He'd been waiting to talk to Jared. “You neither, huh?” he chuckled. “Damn staff thinking we need some kind of high school dance to bring us all together. Maybe they're trying to relive their glory years, or something.”

Unable to suppress his laughter, Jared's face split into a wide grin. Funny – he'd said something along the same lines to Samantha yesterday when she'd asked if he was excited for the dance. So Jensen had a sense of humor. That didn't change the fact that he was a killer. And it surely didn't change the fact that Jared wanted to get away from him. “Or something,” he muttered, biting into his bottom lip as he glanced at the exit. 

_Bathroom_. If Jared could just get to the bathroom, he'd be safe from Jensen. Maybe he could find Misha on the way and he'd go with him so he could stand watch and let Jared know when Jensen was gone. “Um...I'm sorry, I just have...to go to the bathroom,” Jared lied, giving Jensen another small smile before he ducked his head and headed toward the door. Thankfully, Jensen didn't try to stop him.

After he told Christian that he needed to use the restroom, Jared was finally in the hallway. He liked Christian because he let him feel like he was free. Had he been any of the other workers, Jared would have an escort to the john right now.

As he rounded the corner toward the men's room, Jared was grabbed from behind, his right arm being wrenched behind his back with the grip his attacker had on his wrist. Without warning, Jared was shoved against the wall in one of the darker hallways. His face hit the cold plaster as he grunted in pain. Breaths panting out of him in fear, Jared tried to get a good look at the person behind him, but he was using the shadows to his advantage. “Wh-What are you doing?” Jared demanded, trying to hide how scared he was. “Who are you? What do you want?”

“Would you believe that I just wanna talk?” Jensen whispered, hot breath fanning over Jared's cheek as he pressed his body close to Jared's back. Here, with no space between the two of them, Jensen could feel the hard planes of Jared's torso hidden under his clothes. He could feel the firm globes of Jared's ass pressed tightly against him, just above his hips. Biting back a moan, Jensen pressed his face into the crook of Jared's neck, breathing deeply. Okay, maybe he didn't _just_ want to talk.


	5. Chapter Five

“J-Jensen?” Jared breathed, fear coiling inside him and wrapping tightly around his insides. He'd left the cafeteria to get away from Jensen – not to isolate himself so Jensen could attack him more easily! Maybe if he just talked to the guy, everything could get squared up without incident. “Hey, l-look,” he started, trying to calm himself further so his speech wasn't impaired. “What happened in the hallway yesterday – it was an accident. I didn't mean to run into you. I just...don't watch where I'm going sometimes, and bad things like that happen.”

When Jared said his name, Jensen hissed in his breath, biting into his bottom lip. He could listen to Jared say that all day. Vaguely, he heard Jared muttering about an accident, and running into him, but Jensen couldn't pay attention. Not when being this close to Jared was doing such delicious things to his body. He couldn't remember the last time another human had him feeling like this. Uncontrollable – like he wasn't able to make his limbs listen to his brain as his free hand ran over Jared's body.

Something was wrong. Jensen wasn't trying to pummel him, or kill him, or even hurt him for that matter. If this had been about the incident in the hallway yesterday when he was leaving Dr. Ferris's office, Jensen surely would have done _something_ to make him regret it by now. Instead, he was running his hand over Jared's body. Almost like he was _worshiping_ him, or something. “Jensen?” he whispered, brows knit in confusion. 

Unable to suppress the moan that escaped him, Jensen pressed his body impossibly closer to Jared's. “Mmmm...you keep saying my name like that baby, and I'll never let you go,” he promised, his fingers curling around Jared's hip and tugging the younger man back against his growing erection. Gently, his hips rocked forward to meet Jared's movement, another moan slipping past Jensen's lips. “Might not let you go as it is.”

 _Baby_? Something was definitely off about this situation. A small whimper escaped him when Jensen started to rut against him, Jared's eyes going to the ceiling briefly as he tried to process what was happening. Now that things were a little more in perspective, Jared realized just how hard Jensen was. The thin fabric of their hospital pants did nothing to hide that fact.

Two things were bothering him right now. One – Jensen, an absolute stranger, was grinding against him like a cat in heat. And two – Jared was doing nothing to stop it. If this had been anyone else, Jared would have broken free from their hold somehow and kicked the guy's ass all the way into next week. But fear was preventing him from doing anything other than standing there and taking it. 

If he tried to stop Jensen, he was scared that the other man might retaliate. After Misha explained who Jensen was, Jared had done a little research of his own. It hadn't been hard to get Genevieve to hand over Jensen's personal file, and Jared had read it in full before he'd fallen asleep last night. 

_Jensen Ross Ackles. Age: 26. Height: 6'1”. Weight: 175 pounds. Accused of killing his parents in their home on October 2, 2001. Since his arrival at Austin State Hospital three years ago, Jensen had been involved in 56 fights – all of which he'd started, and all of which he'd ended. Thirty-seven of those fights had ended up with the other guy spending time in the infirmary. According to Dr. Ferris's notes, Jensen had no human emotion from what she could tell. He felt no remorse for what he'd done to his family. His actions were driven by his desires rather than his feelings._ Want, take, have. __

_Just last year, a nurse had been transferred to the hospital after an encounter with Jensen. Witnesses said that she'd told him he wasn't allowed to leave the lobby during a routine lock down. Somehow, Jensen had gotten his hands on a pencil and shoved it into her neck before anyone could get it away from him. The girl had lived, luckily – it just barely missed her jugular vein._

_Another incident with a security guard a few months back. Jensen had wanted to go for a walk outside. They'd said it was fine as long as he had supervision. The security guard had been attacked just at the bottom of the stairs leading towards the basement. He'd been beaten so badly that his co-workers could barely recognize him when they found him. It had taken three hours and almost the entire hospital staff to find Jensen afterwards._

So Jared was in quite the predicament. On the one hand, he wanted to shove Jensen away and fight for his life if it came down to that. But on the other hand, he wanted to keep the peace. Not that he was a wimp or anything, but he'd been in a handful of fights in his entire life, and each time, he'd felt them the next morning. Jensen had been in 56 in the last 3 years, and no one seemed to ever take him down. Jared didn't particularly like those odds. Even if Jared had a solid 40 pounds on Jensen. The security guard Jensen had knocked around lived right next to a gym. He'd easily been a good 250 pounds of pure muscle, and Jensen had still won that round.

Before Jared could think of it any further, Jensen flipped him, Jared's back slamming against the hard wall. His breath left him in a rush, giving Jensen time to press their bodies close again, leaving no space between the two of them. “I want you,” Jensen groaned against Jared's neck, nipping the skin that his shirt wasn't covering.

Without waiting for an answer, Jensen gripped Jared's wrist, shoving the younger man's hand down the front of his hospital pants and forcing Jared's fingers around his hard length. He circled his own fingers around Jared's large hand, keeping Jared right where he wanted him as his hips bucked into Jared's palm. It was dry, and rough against his sensitive flesh, yet not so unpleasant that Jensen couldn't stand it. Actually, after he got used to it, the feeling was kind of nice.

Jared cried out in pain when Jensen's fingers dug into the wound on his right wrist. He'd just taken the bandages off and left them off yesterday, so they were still healing. However, he couldn't dwell on that because after a few seconds, his hand was coming into contact with Jensen's dick, and Jared's mind just went blank. _I want you. Want, take, have_. Jensen wasn't asking. He was _telling_ Jared that he was taking him. At least that's the conclusion Jared came to when his brain started functioning once more.

He didn't dare try to pull his hand away, just letting Jensen do whatever he wanted to him right now. Jensen was leading the show here – Jared was just going to let it play out so he could leave and forget about it. Pre-cum wet his hand as Jensen forced him to stroke up and down his hard member, moving Jared's fist faster with each thrust of his hips. Jared just watched as he was assaulted, taking in Jensen's expressions and behaviors.

It was a shame that Jensen was so crazy. He was actually a beautiful man. Freckles littered his cheeks and along the bridge of his nose, giving him a sort of innocent look. His moss green eyes were glazed over with lust and his head was tossed back in pleasure. Jensen's tongue darted out to wet his lips before he sucked the bottom one into his mouth, trapping it between his straight, white teeth. And no, Jared's body was _not_ responding to this.

Another groan was ripped from Jensen's throat as he ran the pad of Jared's thumb over his slit, gathering more pre-cum to lube the way as he stroked him. Jensen was getting close. But he wanted more. He didn't want to cum in his pants like some kind of inexperienced teenager. After all, they still had a dance to get back to. There was no way he could explain away a stain like that.

Quickly, having made up his mind, Jensen ripped Jared's hand from his flesh. Jensen wasted no time as his fingers wrapped around Jared's narrow hips, forcing the younger man to face the wall again. One hand pressed against the center of Jared's back, holding him in place in case the younger man got any bad ideas while his free hand yanked one side of Jared's pants down, then the other. Jared's boxers quickly followed before Jensen pressed their bodies tightly together once more. 

He then pulled his pants down to the middle of his thighs, moaning softly when his erect penis sprang free. Another hissed breath escaped him when his sensitive skin made contact with Jared's smooth ass cheek. “Oh God, baby,” he moaned, forehead pressing against Jared's back where his hand had been moments before as he gripped the younger man's hips with both hands, pulling Jared back against him.

When Jensen pulled his pants and boxers down, Jared panicked. He wasn't thinking as he squirmed against the wall where Jensen was holding him there, trying to get free. “N-No,” he whimpered, biting into his bottom lip as he felt Jensen's hard length pressing against his ass cheek. “Jensen, please, don't?”

Before he'd come here, Jared had been in 2 relationships. The first one had lasted almost a year, and the second just a few months. And in those two relationships, he'd had sex only once. It was with his first boyfriend – he'd been 19, and he thought he had loved him. Of course, Jared soon learned that he hadn't when he left Jared just days after he'd given him his virginity. He'd never gone all the way with Tom – he'd been about to, but then Tom saw his leg, and everything just went downhill from there.

Needless to say, he wasn't ready for Jensen to just shove him against a wall and slam into him without abandon. The words had left his mouth before Jared really had time to think. His heart was slamming against his chest and he felt like he was going to vomit. _Panic attack_ – he was about to have a panic attack.

“Shhh, baby,” Jensen cooed, rutting against the firm globe of Jared's ass cheek. “Don't worry, m'not doin' anything.” He pulled Jared back against him to meet each thrust as he felt his balls drawing up close against his body. “Just want you so bad. Can't wait another second.” With that, Jensen's movements all but stilled, his back arching as he cried out his release. His hips were still rocking gently against Jared, though slower now, as he rode out the waves of his orgasm.

Once he was coherent again, Jensen pulled back, releasing the hold he had on Jared. With one hand, he wiped the evidence of his release off his softening flesh, wiping it away on his T-shirt. A smirk came to his lips when his eyes caught the sight of his white, sticky fluid on Jared's skin. That was a nice look for the younger man. 

As he tucked himself back into his pants, Jensen pressed his body against Jared's again, careful not to get his spunk on his pants. “That was nice, baby,” he whispered in Jared's ear. “We'll have to do it again sometime _real_ soon.” Gripping Jared's jaw, Jensen leaned in and crushed their lips together, nipping Jared's bottom lip when he broke the kiss. “Later, baby.”

With that, Jensen headed back to the dance, not looking back once to check on Jared.

For a minute, all Jared could do was lean against the wall as he tried to get his breathing under control. _In and out. In and out._ Adrianne had taught him that when these episodes started happening after his first boyfriend had dumped him. He hadn't had one in a while, but he was grateful that he remembered his techniques.

He didn't move away from the wall until he was sure Jensen was gone, Jared groaning softly as he wiped Jensen's cum off his ass cheek. Much like Jensen had done, Jared rubbed his hand on his T-shirt, feeling a little used as he tugged his boxers and hospital pants back up his hips where they belonged. His lips still tingled where Jensen had kissed him, Jared dragging his tongue along them to make the sensation stop.

Jensen's words rang in Jared's head over and over. Nice? Jensen had thought that was _nice_?! And they'd have to do it again sometime? Jared had to wonder what _real soon_ meant to Jensen. Finally, he started back towards the dance, figuring that he'd probably been gone too long for a bathroom break as it was. As he walked back towards the loud music, Jared realized that he didn't feel the need to drag a razor over his skin, all of a sudden. It was an oddly refreshing feeling.

**~~**

“You stink like sex,” Misha accused, smirking when his words had Jared nearly jumping out of his skin. Slinging one leg over the bench seat next to Jared, Misha put his tray down on the table before he took a seat. “Admit it, after the dance last night, you went home and choked your snake because you had so much fun there.”

Jared frowned so hard his nostrils flared when Misha sat next to him. “What are you talking about?” he fussed, scooting over a little to put some distance between himself and the other man. He hadn't had time to take a shower since his run-in with Jensen last night, so he wouldn't have been surprised if he actually did smell like sex. If Misha decided to take a whiff, the added space would hopefully work in Jared's favor. “I did not...choke my snake.” Glancing around the cafeteria, Jared shook his head. “Where do you even come up with these things?”

Now that he had more room, Misha spread out his silverware. “The internet, Jay,” he answered, staring at Jared as if it was the most obvious answer on the planet. As usual, Misha started separating his food into piles, not wanting any of it to touch before he ate it. “Seriously though, dude, did you have fun? I didn't see you leaving, so I didn't get to ask you last night. I was a little busy.”

Jared watched as Misha stacked his French toast so it wouldn't come into contact with his scrambled eggs, shaking his head at his friend. It all went to the same place once it was eaten anyway, so Jared didn't see the big deal. “Um...I don't know if fun is the word I'd use,” he finally answered. “But I guess it didn't suck as bad as I thought it was going to. The punch was good.”

Shrugging, Misha stabbed a grape that was getting dangerously close to his bacon. “It could have been better,” he argued. “It lacked the kick any punch needs to be considered _good_.” Popping the grape into his mouth, Misha added, “I particularly enjoyed the company.”

Unable to hide his shock, Jared gaped at Misha. “You mean Katie actually talked to you?!” he asked, making sure he wasn't missing anything. The last he'd known, Katie wouldn't give Misha the time of day. Unless she had to deliver his meds to him, anyway.

Again, Misha popped a grape into his mouth. “Nah, I'm over that,” he answered nonchalantly. “I met someone else last night. At the dance, actually.” A small grin worked its way to Misha's lips as he thought about his new girl. “You'd like her, I think. I mean, the things she can do with her tongue, Jared—”

“I really don't need details,” Jared cut him off. He couldn't help the blush that crept over his cheeks as he remembered his encounter with Jensen the night before. Briefly, he wondered if he should tell Misha about it. Maybe the other man could make some sense of it, because Jared sure as hell couldn't. Jensen hadn't spoken a single word to him since he got here, and then last night he just decided to shove him against a wall and molest him? The whole thing was just odd.

Of course, he knew if he told Misha, the older man would probably just make a big joke out of it. Maybe he should tell Dr. Ferris about it. But he didn't see her again until Wednesday, and it was only Friday. Jared wasn't sure he could wait that long to get this off his chest. But it wasn't like he had many options. Misha was officially out of the question because Jared just didn't want to get into it with him. And other than Misha, Jared didn't really have any friends here.

His breath hitched in his throat when he looked up to see moss green eyes staring at him from across the room. It was like Jensen could see through him with the intense gaze he was giving him. That same smirk that Jensen was wearing yesterday before the dance was plastered on his face. Jared wiggled in his seat under Jensen's watchful eye, trying to decide if he wanted to stay here where he was safe, or take his chances and bolt. 

Finally, Jared decided that it was best to bolt. He couldn't stay here and let Jensen stare at him like he was a slab of meat. “I gotta go,” Jared mumbled to Misha, almost tripping over his own feet as he headed out of the cafeteria. He didn't miss the way Misha was calling after him, but Jared didn't turn around. Instead, he told Christian that he needed a shower, getting permission to do so before he headed off towards his room to gather his toiletries.

Once he had an extra set of clothes and his toothbrush, Jared headed towards the shower stalls. He was hoping that a hot shower would help clear his head. There was no way he could keep going on like this. If Jensen was going to stare at him all of the time, Jared wasn't going to be able to handle it. He hated being the center of attention – especially for a deranged, psycho killer. That just wasn't going to end well for him – he could feel it.

Stripping out of his clothes, Jared stepped under the spray, head hanging between his arms that were planted against the shower wall as a small moan escaped him. There was absolutely no problem in the world that couldn't be solved by a hot shower – he was convinced. Slowly, he lifted his head, hands running through his shaggy hair, pushing it out of his eyes as he reached for the soap.

When the door opened, Jared rolled his eyes. He really missed being able to have his own private bathroom equipped with his own _private_ shower. This place was kind of like a locker room – there were four showers on each side of the walls and just a thin clear sheet protecting him from the outside world. He swore when he got out of here, he was going to take the longest, hottest shower in the world so he could enjoy his privacy again.

Jared was ripped from his own thoughts when his shower curtain opened, revealing a very naked Jensen. Quickly, he moved to cover his junk, frowning at the new arrival. “Jensen, what the hell?!” he exclaimed, shying away into the corner of the shower as he tried to disappear into the wall.

With his signature smirk still plastered on his lips, Jensen took a minute to admire the firm planes of Jared's body that were finally bared to him. It was even sexier in person. Of course, Jared was covering the goods, which was a little irritating, but Jensen could forgive it for now. “Don't cover up on my account,” Jensen purred, moving into the shower and locking Jared between his arms. “I told you I'd be seeing you again real soon.”

A small groan escaped Jared when Jensen gripped his jaw and crushed their lips together. Jensen's tongue pushed past Jared's lips and teeth to explore the hot, wet cavern of his mouth. However, when Jared didn't respond, Jensen pulled back, his smirk morphing into a frown as he searched Jared's face. “What's the matter, baby?” he whispered, fingers moving to card through Jared's wet hair. “Kiss me.”


	6. Chapter Six

_Kiss me_. It was unnerving how Jensen could make the command sound like a question, although Jared knew it wasn't. Jensen Ackles didn't ask for anything. _Want, take, have_. Dragging his tongue across his lips, Jared slowly leaned in. He didn't resist when Jensen kissed him again, instead parting his lips and kissing the older man back.

It wasn't unpleasant by any means. Actually, if Jared was being honest, it was kind of nice. As the kiss continued, he allowed himself to get lost in it. His hand tentatively moved to the back of Jensen's head, fingers carding in his short cropped hair as a small moan broke from Jared to be swallowed up in the kiss. The hand that was covering his privates from prying eyes slowly moved away from his own body, fingers curling around Jensen's hip.

Only when the need for oxygen became too great did he pull away, breaths panting out through parted lips as his forehead rested against Jensen's. As if he just realized that his hands were on Jensen, Jared quickly pulled away, crossing his arms over his chest and ducking his head as he put a little bit of space between them. “M'sorry,” he breathed, not really sure how to handle himself in this situation. He'd never had anything like this happen to him before.

“You should be,” Jensen ground out, hand snaking around Jared's forearm and uncrossing his arms before Jensen closed the gap between them. “Don't pull away from me.” His lips closed around Jared's collarbone, sucking the water off his skin as Jensen's hands moved to Jared's chest, palms pressed firmly against the solid muscle there. Nipping at Jared's skin, Jensen smiled when he got a reaction from the younger man. “I've wanted to do this for a very long time,” he admitted, one hand sliding down Jared's chest to rest against his hip. 

A small frown came to Jared's lips at Jensen's words. “A v-very long time?” he asked, brows knitting in confusion. Had Jensen somehow known him before he got here? Because as far as Jared knew, Jensen had just set his sights on him when he ran into him in the hallway the other day. “I just got here last week.”

Jensen wasn't really paying attention to Jared as he spoke, instead taking the time to admire this boy's beautiful body. It would appear that Jensen hadn't given Jared enough credit in his head when he day dreamed about him. Now that he was seeing what Jared had hidden under his clothes, he could fix that. “Yeah,” he nodded, biting into his bottom lip. “And I've been waiting since you got here to have you.” His hand that was on Jared's chest slid back up to fist in his hair, pulling just slightly to let Jared know he meant business. “Gonna give me what I want, baby?”

Another moan escaped Jared when Jensen's head dipped to suck at his nipple. He remembered Jensen's warning about not pulling away from him, forcing his body to stay still. Jared tried to imagine just what it was Jensen wanted from him. What could someone like Jensen possibly want from Jared? Sex? Because Jared wasn't the type of guy to just give up his body for strangers. He liked to have a connection with someone before he spread his legs for them.

Fingers gripping the shower wall, Jared felt his heart kicking up as Jensen moved from one nipple to tease its twin. “W-What exactly is it that you want from me?” he asked, biting into his bottom lip to keep from crying out when Jensen's teeth nipped at his hardened bud. 

Pulling back, Jensen smiled seductively at Jared. “You know what I want,” he assured the younger man. Leaning in once more, Jensen used his grip on Jared's hip to mold their bodies together, moaning softly as he felt Jared's semi-hard length against his own. “It's not like I'm trying to hide it.” His tongue darted out to lick Jared's cheek, nipping his skin before he pulled away. “I know we don't have time for much of anything right now, baby,” he whispered in Jared's ear. “But I want something from you before I go. I've been thinking about it for _days_ now.”

The fact that his body was responding to Jensen had Jared feeling confused. He didn't want this guy. Sure, he was hot, but that didn't make up for the fact that he was a killer. If anything, Jared wanted his body to shy away from Jensen – not get hard for him. His brows knit in confusion when Jensen said he wanted something from him, Jared giving his head a small shake. “W-What do you want?” he asked, scared of what the answer may be.

“I want to know what your mouth feels like,” Jensen answered, not beating around the bush. His eyes fixed on Jared's mouth, the pad of his thumb tracing Jared's bottom lip when he pulled it away from Jared's hip. “I want you on your knees.” His thumb pushed past Jared's lips and teeth into his mouth, Jensen capturing his bottom lip between his teeth again. “Show me what that pretty mouth of yours can do, baby.”

Jared groaned in protest when Jensen's thumb was stuffed into his mouth. He didn't like being told what to do. And he didn't want Jensen to bully him into something he wasn't ready for. Honestly, Jared hadn't given a blow job in quite a long time. And he wasn't sure he wanted to do it now. However, he knew Jensen wasn't asking for his permission. For all Jared knew, he was going to have to do it either way, so he might as well not fight it, right?

Slowly, Jared nodded, being very careful not to bite Jensen's finger as he did. His answer must have pleased the older man because he was smiling again as he used his grip on Jared's hair to guide him to his knees. Jared glanced up at Jensen when he finally settled in a comfortable position, watching the man to see what he was going to do next. 

Before Jared even had time to think, Jensen forced his head forward, stuffing his erect cock between Jared's lips. His hands shot up to grip Jensen's hips, making sure the older man didn't choke him. Jared allowed his eyes to tick back up to Jensen's face when he was sure Jensen wasn't going to try to force him to go too fast too soon, taking in the older man's expression. It was a look of pure ecstasy. Like Jensen was actually enjoying what Jared was doing.

Without thinking, Jared pushed Jensen's hand away from his hair, gripping the older man's hips once more as he started to move his head. He kept just the tip of Jensen's dick in his mouth before he slid back down, moaning softly around Jensen's length. Apparently, Jensen liked that because his hand moved to grip Jared's hair again as he let out a moan of his own. Getting bolder, Jared pulled one hand away from Jensen's hip, wrapping it around the base of his cock.

As Jared started moving faster, Jensen gently rocked his hips, forcing more of himself into Jared. His grip on the younger man's hair tightened a little when Jared's tongue dipped into his slit, Jensen jerking Jared's head back gently. Damn, the kid knew what he was doing. “Mmmm...yeah baby,” he breathed, using his grip on Jared's hair to move Jared's head the way he wanted it to move. “So good at this. Keep going. Don't stop until I tell you to.”

When Jensen started moving his head for him, Jared focused on his breathing so he didn't start to panic. _In and out. In and out._ His hand that wasn't chasing his mouth moved to Jensen's balls, cradling them in his palm and massaging gently. He couldn't help the small smile that came to his lips when Jensen threw his head back and moaned again.

Reaching forward with his free hand, Jensen gripped the side of Jared's head, holding him still as he rocked his hips into his mouth. He was close. “Oh God, baby,” he groaned, his hand releasing Jared's head again to slap against the shower wall. “M'gonna cum. Don't pull off. Take it all for me, baby.”

That was the only warning Jared got before hot ropes of cum were shooting into his mouth. Jensen held him still the whole time, fingers loosening and then tightening their grip over and over as the waves of pleasure washed over him. When he had nothing left to give Jared, Jensen pulled the younger man off his slowly softening flesh. “Show me,” he ordered, forcing Jared's head back. Another moan escaped him when Jared's mouth opened to let him see what was inside. “Good boy. Now swallow it for me.”

Jensen tugged a little harder on Jared's hair then, letting him know he wanted him to get up. As soon as Jared was at his full height, Jensen pulled him down into another kiss, tongue pushing into his mouth to tangle with Jared's own. Another moan escaped him when he tasted himself there. “That was so good, baby,” he complimented when he pulled back. “I can't wait to do it again.”

Before Jared had a chance to say anything, Jensen was walking out of the shower, leaving Jared alone once more. He slumped back against the shower wall then, groaning as he looked down at his own hard flesh. The least Jensen could have done was returned the favor. “Great,” he muttered, glaring at his cock. “What are you looking at? Did you like that? Was it enjoyable for you, too?” Realizing that he was talking to his appendage, Jared frowned deeply.

He was going crazy. That was the only explanation he had for his recent behaviors. Something about Jensen was making him go crazy. Without giving it much thought, Jared wrapped his hand around his own length, stroking himself fast and hard. His water was already cold, and he just wanted to get out of this damn room. He didn't acknowledge that when he came with a cry, Jensen's name was on his lips.

**~~**

Over the next few days, Jared was able to avoid Jensen. Sure, the guy still stared at him in the lobby, and while they were in the cafeteria, but Jensen hadn't approached him while they were alone recently. Jared was counting it as a win. He needed some time to think – he needed some space. His scheduled appointment with Dr. Ferris was in a few days, and he was actually looking forward to it for once. There was a chance she could help him clear his head about this whole Jensen business.

It was really affecting his life here. Misha knew something was up, and he kept asking about it, but Jared would just shut him down. It was making Misha moody around him, and Jared didn't particularly care for it. Sure, he could have told the other man about Jensen and what had been going on, but he didn't even know where to start. Jared didn't even understand it – there was no way he could expect Misha to.

Not to mention that the last three nights Jared had jerked awake after some very interesting dreams which starred Jensen as the lead role. Jared couldn't remember the last time he'd had to fuck his hand so many times in one week. Hell, he wasn't even sure he'd done it this often when he was experiencing puberty. 

And the worst part about it was that even if he decided that he wanted something to happen with Jensen, the chances of that happening while they were locked up in a hospital were slim to none. So he was doomed to live a life of pining after a killer. And maybe if he was lucky, he'd get to suck Jensen off in the shower again, or be used as his own personal humping tool in the hallway again. To say that Jared was confused was an understatement. 

But there was absolutely no reason for him to be suffering alone. There was another person in this hospital who knew about what was going on, and Jared was going to talk to him about it. Misha wasn't around right now to ask questions – his family was visiting him today – so it was the perfect time for Jared to address this.

Without giving himself time to talk himself out of this, Jared pushed himself out of his chair. He headed straight for the window sill, not even caring that Christian was leaning against the wall next to Jensen. “I need to talk to you,” he explained, eyes locked on Jensen's. His eyes then ticked over to Christian, his cheeks heating up before he returned his attention to the older man. “Alone.”

“About what?” Jensen asked, though the look on his face suggested that he knew exactly what Jared needed. Still, he wanted to see the younger man squirm a little bit.

For a few moments, Jared's mouth just opened and closed as he tried to think of how he wanted to work this. He surely didn't want Christian to know what was going on, so he couldn't just come out and say it. “I-I just want to talk to you about something,” he finally answered, eyes once again ticking to Christian. “ _Alone_.”

Jensen didn't move right away. Instead, his eyes raked over Jared's body, starting from his head and moving to his feet, then back up. He remembered what he looked like without all of those stupid clothes on – it was a _great_ memory. “Fine,” he finally answered, smirking as he stood to his full height. “Follow me.” He didn't turn to see if Jared was doing as he was told, instead moving towards the hallway that would lead to the exercise wing. No one was going to be there at this time of day, so that should be private enough for Jared's liking.

Once Jared followed him into the gym, Jensen pushed the sign that read _Closed for cleaning_ in front of the door, allowing it to fall closed behind him. “All right,” he smiled, leering at Jared. “You've got me alone. What do you wanna talk about?”

Unfortunately, Jared hadn't really thought this plan through before he'd asked to get Jensen alone. Now that it was actually happening, he wasn't quite sure where to go with this. “Why are you doing this to me?” he finally asked, feeling anger start to simmer inside him. 

Frowning, Jensen shrugged. “Doing what?” he asked, feigning innocence. “You're the one who wanted me to come here. I didn't do anything to you.”

Jared matched Jensen's frown. “You know what I'm talking about,” he assured Jensen. “You trapped me in the hallway and basically used me to get off. And then you came into the room while I was taking a shower and made me suck you off. And now you're ignoring me and acting like it didn't happen.” He wasn't sure why he sounded so pissed that he was being ignored. Isn't that what he wanted from the start?

The way Jared's voice cracked when he was angry was a turn on for Jensen. “I haven't been ignoring you,” he argued, pushing himself away from the wall where he'd been leaning. “I've always got my eyes on you. But you know that, don't you?” The gap between them was almost completely closed now. Jensen didn't miss the way Jared's breaths kicked up. “You like it when I watch you. Sometimes, you even watch me back.”

As soon as he was close enough, Jensen pressed his hand against Jared's chest, pushing gently as he continued to walk so Jared knew to back up. When Jared's back was pressed against one of the treadmills, Jensen leaned in to whisper, “Are you pissed because I haven't touched you lately, baby? Because I wanted to. But you're never alone anymore. And I figured you'd freak out if I tried anything in public. Wouldn't want that.”

When Jensen called him baby, Jared's eyes slipped closed. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed that. “I...don't know,” Jared breathed, shaking his head. “I just thought that...I don't know. Maybe...you liked me, or something.”

He couldn't explain it. On the one hand, he was terrified of Jensen. The feelings he had for Jensen terrified him, too. But on the other hand, it was like he craved Jensen's touch. When Jensen was giving him attention, Jared didn't feel the need to cut himself like he did every other second of every day since he'd been thrown in here. But when Jensen stopped, and he _ignored_ him like he'd been doing, Jared wanted a blade more than ever.

“Do you want me, baby?” Jensen asked, lips skimming along the long column of Jared's throat. “Is that what this is?” Jensen hadn't really spent much time dating before he had gotten thrown in here, so he was new at this. But he'd been asking Christian for advice on this sort of stuff, and he thought he was hitting the nail on the head with this one. “You're not getting the attention you want from me right now, baby? So you're mad at me?”

Mad at him? No, Jared wasn't mad at him – that's not what this was about. “N-No,” he answered, biting into his bottom lip when Jensen yanked his T-shirt off his shoulder so he could suck at Jared's skin. “I don't know. Maybe. I just...don't understand what you're doing.” His breathing became ragged as Jensen shoved his hand up his shirt, Jared bowing his back to get away from Jensen's hand. “Like this...right now. You're all over me. Making me...feel things. But as soon as we leave this room, you're going to go back to ignoring me.”

This was why Jensen didn't date. People were too complicated. They expected too much from him. “I wasn't ignoring you,” he repeated, pinching Jared's nipple as a punishment for having to repeat himself. “I didn't think you'd want me to do anything around other people.” His hips pressed against Jared's thigh, letting the younger man feel his erection. “Even in here when we're alone, you're blushing, baby.” The hand that wasn't under Jared's T-shirt gripped Jared's chin, holding him in place. “So beautiful.”

Jared felt tears well up behind his eyes when Jensen called him beautiful. No one had ever referred to him that way before. Sure, many men had told him he was hot, or adorable, but never beautiful. “J-Jen,” he whispered, not even aware he'd shortened Jensen's name until it was too late. But Jensen didn't seem to mind, so Jared took a chance as he pushed Jensen's hand off his chin. Once he was free, he surged forward, closing the gap between the two of them as he crushed his lips against Jensen's.

A deep moan escaped Jensen when Jared kissed him. Immediately, his hands moved to Jared's head, fisting in his hair as he dragged the younger man impossibly closer. “Mine,” he growled when Jared broke the kiss to suck in some much needed air. His hand in Jared's hair tightened, forcing Jared's head back slightly when the younger man didn't answer him. “You're mine,” he reiterated, making sure Jared knew what he was talking about.

Although the treatment Jensen was giving him was rougher than he was used to, Jared didn't mind it. “Y-Yeah,” he breathed, trying to nod before he remembered that Jensen's hand was in his hair. “I'm yours.” He moaned into the kiss when Jensen captured his lips again, Jared instantly opening his mouth to allow Jensen's tongue the access it was seeking. “Are-Are you mine?” Jared asked when the kiss broke, hazel eyes searching Jensen's face for answers.

Before Jensen could answer, the door opened, forcing the two men apart. “Jensen,” Christian mumbled, not having missed the close proximity of the two men. He still didn't approve of this. “Sorry to bother you, but you have visitors.”


	7. Chapter Seven

Jensen stared at the small crack in the tile by his foot. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be anywhere _but_ here. He'd been having a nice time before Christian had interrupted him. Jared had really been begging so prettily – he'd give anything to have that back right now.

It was very rare that Mackenzie and Josh visited him anymore. When it first happened, they'd come by to try to get some answers out of him, but that had quickly stopped. Now, they only came by every once in a while – usually on important dates, or when they had something to tell him. And Jensen didn't know of any particularly important things that happened on this day, so he was assuming it was the latter.

“Aren't you even going to look at us, Jensen?” Mackenzie asked, trying to catch her brother's gaze. She hated that they were like this now. Before their parents' death, she and Jensen had been pretty close. Now, she felt like she barely knew him.

Reluctantly, Jensen brought his eyes up to meet Mackenzie's. He didn't linger there long, instead moving to look at Josh. His brother wasn't meeting his gaze either, so Jensen didn't feel too bad about it. “Why are you here?” he finally asked, turning his attention to Mackenzie again. “There's no anniversaries that I can think of, and I know it's not your birthday.”

When Jensen spoke, Josh's eyes snapped up to meet him. He didn't know this person sitting in front of him. That wasn't his brother. His brother would have never killed his parents. This was just a monster wearing his face. Josh hated it when they had to come here. But Mackenzie just wouldn't give up on Jensen. “Dr. Ferris called,” Josh explained finally. “She said that you might benefit from seeing us. So Mackenzie insisted that we stop by.”

Dr. Ferris – that woman was a royal pain in Jensen's ass. Steeling his features, Jensen crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at the cracked tile once more. “Yeah? And what would make her think that?” Just because Jensen had gotten pissed off about her bringing up his family didn't mean he wanted to have a damn intervention!

Seeing that Jensen was getting angry, Mackenzie glanced at Josh. Sometimes, she hated the way she felt around her brother. Surely, he would never hurt her – she loved him. And somewhere inside Jensen, she knew that he still loved her, too. “Well, she said that you guys have been having some good sessions lately,” Mackenzie explained. “That you've really started to open up about us. And she just wanted us to come talk to you. Maybe, make you feel a little better.” 

Unable to contain the scoff that escaped him, Jensen allowed his gaze to flick back up to his family. “Did she?” he asked, his voice low – dangerous. Slowly, Jensen pushed himself out of his chair, moving to the window where he rested his arm on the wall, staring outside. “In the three years that I've been here, I haven't had a good session with that woman. Not once. When I go in that room, I lay on that couch and keep my mouth shut.”

A small frown came to Mackenzie's lips when Jensen spoke, the younger woman turning her attention to Josh briefly before she looked back at Jensen. “But...she said that when she tried to talk to you about us, you opened up,” Mackenzie argued. “She said it was the first time she'd seen you react in a long time.”

“She lied!” Jensen yelled, turning to face his brother and his sister. “Clearly she isn't telling you everything.” That signature smirk pulled at Jensen's lips as he stalked closer to his siblings. “Didn't she tell you what else she thought about me? I've seen the good doctor's notes. And I know there's no way she sent you here to chat with me because she thinks it'll do me some good.”

When Jensen reached the table where Mackenzie and Josh were sitting, he leaned over, hands gripping the edge so tightly he could feel the wood leaving marks in his palms. “According to Dr. Ferris, I'm a monster,” he continued. He stared at a spot on the table where the wood was peeling back. “No human emotions. I'm driven by desire. I see something I want, I take it. I have no remorse.”

He heard Mackenzie's hiccuping breath, Jensen allowing his gaze to drift up to meet his siblings' eyes once more. “If you came here thinking that you're going to talk to me and make me feel bad about what I did, you're sadly mistaken,” he promised. “I feel _nothing_ for those people. As far as I'm concerned, Donna was just a body to bring me into this world. And Alan was her willing sperm donor.” The tears on Mackenzie's cheeks made him a lot happier than he would have thought. “Take that back to your precious bitch doctor.”

Eyes filled with hatred, Josh locked his gaze on Jensen. His arm circled around his sister in a protective embrace as he coaxed her to stand. “We're done here,” he growled, not sparing Jensen a backwards glance as he left the room, taking Mackenzie along with him. 

As soon as he was alone, Jensen flopped back into his chair, eyes locking on that same piece of broken tile. He remembered how it had cracked. There had been a new assistant helping Dr. Jim Beaver for a little while a couple years back. His head split open like a cantaloupe when it hit the floor after Jensen shoved the man away from him. Even drugged up, Jensen had been able to overpower the guy. That was a mistake Dr. Beaver never made again.

“Jensen?” Christian mumbled, pulling the other man from his own thoughts. “Are you okay?” He'd seen Mackenzie and Josh leaving. Neither of them had been too happy – Mackenzie had been sobbing, and Josh had screamed to the reception desk that they wouldn't be back as he slapped their visitor's passes on the counter.

Snapping his head towards Christian, Jensen frowned. “I'm peachy,” he answered, shoving himself out of his chair. He was going to rip that psychiatrist bitch apart. “I have an appointment with the devil.” He ignored Christian as he called after him, Jensen making his way down the hall towards Samantha's office. Jensen was on a mission – his friend could wait.

The door slammed loudly behind him, causing Samantha to jump before she looked up at Jensen from her desk. She was clearly shocked as her eyes ticked to the clock. “Mr. Ackles,” she greeted, moving around to the front of her desk and leaning on it. “You're actually early for once. I wasn't expecting you for another fifteen minutes at least.”

His body was humming with anger. “You bitch,” he growled, low and deep. “You think that sending my siblings here to talk to me is going to get me to open up? You're _wrong_! All you've managed to do is piss me off. And I'm _much_ harder to deal with when I'm pissed off.” Stalking closer, Jensen smirked, thinking about that letter opener he'd been admiring the other day. “What was your master plan here? Did you think Mackenzie and Josh were going to come here and have some sort of heart-to-heart with me? That we'd hug and I'd finally show some of those pesky emotions that you've already concluded I don't have?”

Samantha was worried. She'd never seen Jensen like this before. But she knew he was a predator, and right now, she had a feeling that she was the prey. Reaching under her desk, Samantha quickly pushed the panic button hidden under there. She then moved so that she was behind her desk instead of in front of it. “Jensen, I merely called them and suggested they come visit,” she admitted. “You seemed to get distressed when we talked about them last time, so I figured it might be good for you to talk to them. Get anything you might have off your chest.”

She was scared – Jensen liked that. “I'm going to say this one more time,” he ground out. “Stay the fuck out of my family's personal problems! _They_ are not your concern! The only person you need to be worried about is me. _I'm_ your patient! And whether we like it or not, we're stuck together!”

Just as Jensen was going to close the gap between himself and Samantha, two orderlies burst through the door. They wasted no time moving just behind Jensen, their tasers at the ready. Usually, they didn't go to such extreme measures, but with Jensen, it was necessary. “You need to come with us, Mr. Ackles,” one of them said, his voice shaky as he stepped out of Jensen's way so he had a clear path to the door.

Again, Jensen's smirk pulled at his lips. “If you try to interfere with what's mine again, I _will_ make you regret it,” he promised, staring Samantha straight in the eye before he stormed out of the room. The orderlies followed close behind him, leading him down the hallway. Once they were almost to the main lobby, Jensen shoved the guy's hand off his elbow. “I don't need a fucking escort,” he snapped. “Leave me the hell alone.”

Almost as soon as he walked into the lobby, Jensen saw Jared. He was sitting in his usual chair talking to that guy he always spent time with. Jensen really hated that guy. Without thinking, Jensen moved towards the younger man, not caring who saw him. He was pissed – he needed something to take the edge off. He needed Jared.

“Get up,” Jensen ordered, standing so close to Jared's chair that the arm was touching his thighs. His eyes held Jared's gaze, warning him not to mess around right now.

A deep frown came to Jared's lips as his attention turned to Jensen. “What?” he asked, eyes ticking to Misha briefly. However, Misha wasn't in his chair anymore, instead scurrying off towards the opposite side of the room. Again, he looked at Jensen, barely holding back from rolling his eyes at Misha. “Why?”

Barely resisting the urge to yank Jared off of that chair, Jensen's jaw ticked in his anger. “Because I said so, that's why,” he answered. His eyes narrowed at the defiant look on Jared's face, lips turned down into a scowl. “We have unfinished business. Get up, and come with me. Now.” He didn't wait for Jared to respond, instead turning on his heels and moving towards his room.

At the mention of unfinished business, Jared's body instantly responded. He quickly stumbled out of his chair when he saw Jensen moving, following after the older man like he was expected to do. Before Jensen had gotten pulled away, Jared had asked him a question. And he wanted his answer now. Of course, he could tell that Jensen seemed angry. It kind of scared him, but at the same time, he didn't feel all that afraid. It was a weird feeling. If Jensen wanted to do something to him, he would have done it already.

A small frown came to Jared's lips as he followed Jensen into his room, watching as the older man closed the door behind him. “We can't be in here,” Jared whispered. “It's against hospital policy. If anyone sees us in here together, we could get into a lot of trouble.”

The last thing Jensen was worried about was getting into trouble. “You worry too much,” he accused, grabbing Jared's forearm and yanking him against his body. “Rules are meant to be broken.” He shoved Jared against the wall then, body plastered against the younger man's as a moan ripped from his throat. “I want you,” he moaned, one hand moving to shove under Jared's T-shirt.

He didn't fight as Jensen manhandled him against the wall, figuring it was best to just do what Jensen wanted. “Yeah,” he breathed at Jensen's words, breaths panting out of him when the older man's hand slid under his shirt to touch bare flesh. “I-I know. You keep telling me that. B-But half of the time, you don't do anything about it.”

Grinning against Jared's neck, Jensen asked, “Do you want me to?” Honestly, he didn't care if Jared wanted him to. He was going to do something about it right now whether Jared wanted it or not. Jensen was pissed off and he was horny, and Jared could help him with that. Even if Jared fought him tooth and nail, Jensen was going to get what he wanted. After all, Jared had already given himself over to Jensen. Earlier in the gym – Jared had said he was Jensen's.

Jared didn't know what he wanted. But he could tell that something was bothering Jensen. “I-I don't know,” he answered, shaking his head slightly as his eyes searched Jensen's face. “What's wrong? You seem...different.” Slowly, his hand moved to cup Jensen's cheek, thumb rubbing against the delicate freckles there. “Is everything okay?”

Before Jared had a chance to do anything else, Jensen shoved his arm off, forcing Jared's hand off his face. “Don't do that,” he warned. He didn't need Jared to try to analyze him. It was bad enough he had to deal with that fucking shrink. He wasn't going to let Jared try to do it, too. “Get on my bed. Take your clothes off. And stop talking.” Tilting his head, Jensen added, “Not in that order, but you get the idea, baby.”

Again, Jared frowned deeply at Jensen's barked orders. Everything inside him was screaming at him to say no. To just tell Jensen to go pound salt. But he knew that it wouldn't end well. The names of Jensen's victims kept running through Jared's head as the war waged inside of him. Eventually, he pushed himself away from the wall, fingers going to the hem of his T-shirt before he pulled it off his body. Listening to what he was told was better than starting an argument right now.

As Jared stripped, Jensen watched, eyes raking greedily over Jared's body. He dragged his tongue over his lips as Jared dropped his pants, boxers soon following. Once Jared was naked, Jensen gripped himself through the thin fabric of his hospital pants, adjusting his hardening cock. He then moved closer to the bed, crawling onto the mattress between Jared's legs. “Jerk yourself off a little,” he directed. “Wanna watch.”

Heat burned Jared's cheeks red when he was told to jerk off in front of Jensen. Jared had never touched himself in the presence of another person before. That was more of a private thing.”I-I don't –” Jared started, shaking his head. “I've never done it in front of anyone before.”

Quickly, Jensen moved closer to Jared, his hand slapping over the younger man's mouth. “I'm fairly certain I said no talking,” he reminded. His free hand moved to Jared's wrist, forcing his hand down to his semi-hard member. “Touch yourself for me. It's not hard.” He was talking about the task, of course, but a smile drew to his lips regardless at the double meaning.

His movements were slow as he pulled his hand away from Jared's mouth, tongue darting out to lick Jared's lips before he pulled back again. Jensen climbed off the bed as he gripped the back of his T-shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it on the floor next to Jared's. Wasting no time, Jensen stripped out of his hospital pants, hard cock springing free and bouncing off his stomach. “Use your fingers,” he finally ordered, one hand gripping the arm of his desk chair as he pulled it closer, taking a seat. “Open yourself up for me, baby.”

Blushing brighter this time, Jared had to bite his lip to keep from arguing. Normally, when he was with someone, they did this part for him. But it seemed like Jensen just wanted to watch. It was kind of creepy. Sighing, Jared sucked his index finger into his mouth, getting it good and wet. He then added his middle finger, wetting that digit as well. Being careful not touch himself with his slicked fingers, Jared reached for his hole, slowly sliding his index finger inside.

Jensen's cock twitched as he watched Jared's finger disappear into his body. This was good. Jensen's mood was already improving. His hands gripped the arm of the chair he was in, forcing himself to stay put. If he went over there, he'd go too fast. He was still too angry from the events of earlier that day. He didn't want to hurt Jared. “Use two fingers now, baby,” Jensen breathed, eyes on Jared's hands as he worked his cock and his hole. “Go faster. I've had a _really_ bad day, and m'not gonna be able to wait much longer.”

Without hesitation, Jared did as he was told, head falling back to lean against the wall as his fingers brushed against his sweet spot. His hand tightened around the head of his cock on the upstroke, practically slamming down to the root before repeating the action. “Ungh...” he moaned as he worked himself, feet planted firmly on the mattress so he could use them as leverage as he bucked his hips, driving his cock further into his palm.

Unable to resist any longer, Jensen shoved out of the chair he was in, moving to the bed and blanketing Jared's body with his own. Roughly, he slapped Jared's hand away from his cock. He then spit into his palm, watching as Jared pulled his fingers free. “You're mine,” he growled as he stroked his dick, coating it with spit so he wasn't pushing into Jared dry. Once he was satisfied with his work, Jensen shouldered Jared's thighs apart, gripping the base of his cock as lined himself up with Jared's entrance. “Only make those noises for me, baby,” he groaned as he slid into Jared. “Nobody else, baby. All mine.”

Because it had been such a long time since Jared had been with anyone, Jensen's movements were hurting him. “O-Ow,” he breathed softly, one hand shooting out to press against Jensen's abdomen in an attempt to make the pain stop. “S-Stop...please...Jen, slow down.” His head pressed back against the pillow when Jensen finally bottomed out against him, groaning in pleasure. “S'been a while,” he explained, fingers curling around Jensen's hip. “Just...take it easy.”

Take it easy? It just wasn't Jensen's style. “Oh, baby, I don't do easy,” he cooed in Jared's ear, hips pulling back almost all of the way before he slammed back into Jared, smiling at the shocked expression on the younger man's face. On the next thrust, Jensen made sure to angle his hips, hitting that magic spot inside Jared that would have him seeing white.

“Oh God,” Jared moaned when Jensen's cock hit his prostate, his head thrashing from one side to the other on the pillow. His hands moved to grip at Jensen's back, pulling the older man impossibly closer before his right leg hooked over Jensen's left thigh. 

When Jared's hands moved up his back, Jensen quickly pushed them away, instead slamming them against the mattress. He pinned Jared's arms to the bed tightly with an iron grip on his wrists, not caring when Jared cried out in pain. Jared had done it to himself – Jensen wasn't going to be sorry for being rough with Jared; if he hadn't been trying to kill himself, those wounds wouldn't even be there. “No touching today, baby,” he explained, nipping at Jared's earlobe. “M'mad. I don't wanna hurt you. Just lay back and take it.”

Jared whimpered when Jensen told him he was mad, fighting back the urge to ask what had happened. He figured it had something to do with Jensen's visitors, but the only way to be sure was to ask. And he just didn't think that was a good idea. So, instead, he just did as he was told – laid back and took it. After all, it wasn't like this was unpleasant. Not even a little bit. 

His hands balled into fists as he felt his orgasm approaching, hips rocking back to meet Jensen's with each thrust. Using the grip his leg had on Jensen's thigh, Jared bucked his hips, rubbing his dick against Jensen's abdomen to create just the right amount of friction.

Feeling his body start to tingle with the need for release, Jensen gripped Jared's wrists more tightly. “Say my name,” he growled, biting into the soft flesh of Jared's exposed neck. “Say it, baby. Tell me who you belong to.”

With the lust fogging his brain, Jared almost didn't hear Jensen's order. However, when Jensen's grip on his abused skin tightened, Jared was brought back to reality, groaning softly in pain as his hands flexed against the mattress. “Y-You,” he grunted. “I belong to you.” His hips rut faster against Jensen's abdomen, groaning in pleasure as he felt his balls draw up close to his body.

“ _Say my name_ ,” Jensen repeated, biting at Jared's neck once more. “I won't let you cum until you say my name, dammit.” He didn't like to have to repeat himself. If Jared couldn't listen, then he wasn't allowed to reap the benefits of sex.

Crying out in a mixture of pain and pleasure, Jared all but shouted, “Jensen!” His erection had dwindled a little at the pain that shot through his shoulder when he was bitten, but he was just on the cusp now again. “Oh God, Jensen, ungh...please. I'm yours. Please...m'gonna cum. God...Jensen!”

That was the only warning he got before Jared's spunk was splashing against his chest and belly, their movements rubbing the sticky release into their skin. Jensen couldn't stop it when Jared's tight muscles clenched around him, his own orgasm ripping its way through his body. Jensen barely remembered to roll off to the side to prevent himself from crushing Jared as he pulled out of him.

Usually, after sex, Jared liked to cuddle for at least a few minutes. However, as soon as he rolled onto his side towards Jensen, he realized the other man was already getting out of bed. “We're not gonna...cuddle?” he asked, biting into his bottom lip. He felt heat rise to his cheeks again at the question, his head bowed so he didn't have to look Jensen in the eyes.

A deep frown came to Jensen's lips when Jared mentioned cuddling. What were they? Lovers? “No,” he answered, bending over to grab his pants. He quickly pulled them on, being careful to tuck his sensitive flesh into the fabric so he didn't hurt himself. “Get dressed.”

Tears sprang to the backs of Jared's eyes as he pushed his sore body out of the bed. He gathered up his clothes before he started putting them back on, making sure not to look at Jensen as he did. He was a fool. An idiot! Jensen had just been using him. And now that he'd gotten what he wanted, Jared was nothing more than a nuisance.

Once Jared was dressed, he started toward the door, only to gasp in shock when Jensen grabbed him again. “Those marks on you,” Jensen started, turning Jared's hand in his grasp so he could see the healing wound. “Don't let it happen again. You're _mine_. The only marks you're going to have on your skin are going to be from me, baby.” Leaning in, Jensen crushed his lips against Jared's tongue forcing its way past Jared's lips and teeth to tangle with his own.

As soon as the kiss broke, Jensen pushed past Jared, heading back to the lobby. He felt better now. The events of earlier that day were still running around in his head, but he wasn't letting them get to him anymore. Instead, he busied his mind with images of Jared naked, pumping his hips into his hand while his fingers worked his ass. The rest of today was going to be a good day. Jensen was going to make sure of it.


	8. Chapter Eight

Finally, it was Wednesday. Jared had been waiting for this day. Especially after his little escapades last night with Jensen. He was just so confused about everything. And he knew that Dr. Ferris could probably put a lot of things into perspective for him. After all, this was really new for him. Jared had never been with someone like Jensen before – he wanted to be prepared for anything. And Dr. Ferris had been dealing with Jensen for three years – she had to have some sort of inside scoop that she could give him.

At least that's what Jared was banking on as he walked through the door, taking his seat on the couch across from Dr. Ferris's chair. “Hi,” he greeted with a smile, leaning back so that he was comfortable. This was going to be a pivotal hour. He didn't want anything to mess it up.

“Good afternoon, Jared,” Samantha smiled, placing her hands on her file folder which was laying in her lap. “You seem like you're in a chipper mood today. Did you have a good week?” The last time she'd seen Jared, he seemed distant and cut off. Today, he was almost the polar opposite.

A small smile came to Jared's lips as he ducked his head. “Yeah, I am in a chipper mood, I guess,” he agreed. “I had an interesting week.” He wasn't sure yet if he wanted to refer to it as a good week. That was going to depend on how he felt after he left here. “I-I met someone.” Allowing his attention to turn to Dr. Ferris, Jared bit into his bottom lip. “At the dance. He just started talking to me. And it's been...kinda nice since then.”

To say that it was a shock that Jared found someone here would have been an understatement. Then again, Samantha knew all too well that Jared needed to be with someone in order to be happy. When he was alone, he had these tendencies that he'd told her about. Tendencies that were the exact reason he was still in this hospital. “Kinda nice?” she asked, opening her file folder. “Why don't you tell me about him, Jared?”

Jared couldn't keep the small smile from forming on his lips when he thought about Jensen.”Well, he's cute,” Jared started. “He's really cute. And he calls me baby.” Biting into his bottom lip, Jared remembered what had happened the night before. It was good. It was _really_ good. The only complaint he had was that Jensen wouldn't cuddle with him afterward. “He makes me feel special.”

As she listened to Jared describing this new guy, Samantha jotted down some notes. Jared seemed really happy. Like he was living his own little fairy tale with the way he was smiling, and how he wouldn't meet her gaze. As if he was reliving the moments in his mind. “And while you're with him,” she started, pulling her attention from the file folder to land on Jared, “do the bad thoughts creep up at any time? Maybe when you're not around him?”

When Dr. Ferris asked about the thoughts of self harm that always seemed to plague him, Jared really had to think hard. The first night he had been with Jensen, he'd been feeling it pretty badly. With the dance and everything being so new, he'd just needed something to take the edge off. But when Jensen had jumped him in the hallway, those thoughts had almost immediately gone away. And then when he'd been in the shower, he thought about it again. But as soon as Jensen joined him, the need for something sharp completely left his head.

And then there were those days when Jensen hadn't touched him at all – hadn't even tried to corner him somewhere. Those had been the worst. Every day, Jared had to fight the urge to cry because he didn't have access to anything he could use to tear into his flesh. He'd felt rejected. It was a feeling he knew all too well.

Hearing Dr. Ferris say his name brought Jared out of his own thoughts. “Uh...it's complicated,” Jared answered. “I-If I tell you everything that happened, it's confidential, right? Like...you can't use it against me and get me in trouble, right?”

“Yes, Jared,” Samantha replied, wondering why the young man was worried about getting into trouble. “As long as you're not harming yourself or someone else, I'm not obligated to tell anyone anything.” Frowning, she leaned forward, elbows resting on her crossed knees. “You're not...harming yourself or anyone else, right?”

Quickly, Jared shook his head. “N-No, of course not,” he assured her. “I just...I mean, we may have broken a few rules while we were together, that's all. And...I don't want to get him in trouble.” Even if it was Jensen's idea, Jared was the one blabbing about it right now. Jensen would never forgive him if they got caught and had to suffer the consequences. And then he'd lose him. Jared couldn't handle that. But at the same time, he couldn't just lie to Dr. Ferris. She was here to help him, after all.

Mind made up, Jared started from the beginning. “So, it happened at the dance first. I was...irritable and I just wanted to go back to my room. I told someone I was going to the bathroom. I just wanted to get away from everything for a minute. That's when he stopped me in the hallway. He, um...put my hand down his pants and just jerked into me for a little bit. And then he pushed me against the wall and pulled my pants down. It only took a minute for him to cum on me. And then he just left.”

He could see that Dr. Ferris was confused, but he continued anyway. “A-And then the next day, he followed me into the showers. He had me give him a blow job. It was...nice, actually. He always tells me that he wants me.” Again, Jared smiled at the memory. “But, uh, then he just didn't talk to me for a few days. And it confused me. So, I confronted him about it. He explained everything though, so I felt better after I got to talk to him. We didn't really get to finish the conversation though. He got visitors, so he had to leave right in the middle of it.”

Now, it was time to get to the good part. “I didn't see him again until later yesterday. He took me to his room and...we made love. It was...beautiful.” His smile turned into a frown as he thought about the aftershocks. “But...he wouldn't cuddle with me after. He kinda just...left. It's weird though. Like...when I'm around him, I don't think about hurting myself at all. And usually, when he's just watching me in the lobby, or something, I don't really feel it either. When he ignores me, though...I feel it stronger than ever. I mean, he said he wasn't ignoring me, but that's how it felt.”

His attention ticked back up to Dr. Ferris as he worried his lip between his teeth. “He says that I'm _his_ ,” he explained. “And the way he says it makes me believe it's true. Like he actually wants me to be his. But...when I asked him if he was mine...he didn't answer me. I mean...if I'm his, then I want Jensen—”

“Jensen?!” Samantha asked, fear clutching her tightly. “Jensen Ackles?” When Jared nodded, she could feel all of the blood draining from her face. Jared was a good kid – he was pure. Jensen was a twisted psychotic. That was a bad combination. Samantha didn't want Jared to get hurt. “Jensen did all of these things to you?” she asked, trying to regain her composure. “And you wanted him to do this? Did you ask for these things?”

A small frown came to Jared's lips as Dr. Ferris's reaction. “Um...I mean, I didn't ask for him to do it, no. But...I didn't tell him to stop either.” He watched as Dr. Ferris wrote in her file. “He didn't force me to do anything, if that's what you're getting at. Jensen wouldn't do that. I wanted everything that happened between us to happen.”

It was hard to tell if Jared was telling the truth. Judging by what she knew about Jensen, she was sure he'd forced Jared in some way or another. Even if the younger man thought he'd wanted it now, Jensen had to have coerced him somehow. “Jared, we've discussed how your tendencies seem directly linked to attention. How when you're getting attention from someone, you feel wanted. And that makes you feel special.” Jared nodded. “Well...I'm just worried that you might be getting the _wrong_ kind of attention from Jensen. I mean, I'm not telling you what to do, but I am suggesting that you step back for a little while. Just to make sure this is actually what you want.”

That wasn't the reaction he was hoping to get at all. “Um...o-okay,” he answered softly, shifting in his seat. His eyes ticked to the wall where the clock hung. Thankfully, he'd kept them busy with his thoughts this session, and it was time to leave. “I'll think about it this week, and then we can talk more next week.” With that, Jared pushed himself off the couch and headed out the door. He had a lot to process.

As soon as he was back in the lobby, he spotted Jensen. His first instinct was to walk over and talk to him. However, Dr. Ferris's words rang through his head, keeping him glued to the floor. What had she been talking about? Jared knew that she was Jensen's psychiatrist, too. Did she know something Jared didn't? After all, there was _a lot_ that Jared still didn't know about Jensen.

Instead of moving towards the other man, Jared turned around and started walking back the way he'd came. He didn't get far before he heard footsteps behind him. Before he had a chance to react, he was pushed against the wall, his hands shooting out in front of him to catch himself. A body was pressed hard against his, and Jared knew exactly who it was that had followed him. “Jensen, stop,” he complained, wiggling under the older man's weight.

Not listening to Jared's protests, Jensen reached around him, hand shoving up under Jared's T-shirt. “I missed you today,” Jensen whispered against Jared's shoulder blade. “Couldn't find you after breakfast, baby.” When Jared continued to struggle under him, Jensen smacked his ass. “Stop doing that,” he warned, getting irritated by Jared's behavior. “Where did you go?” 

Jared gasped in shock when he was spanked, his movements quickly stilling. “I-I had therapy,” Jared explained, feeling his insides flutter when Jensen pressed a kiss to his neck. “I just got done. I was kinda hoping for some...I don't know...space, Jen. I need time to think.”

The gentle treatment he was giving Jared quickly came to a halt. Roughly, he gripped Jared's shoulder, flinging the younger man around so that his back was pressed against the wall. “Time to think?” he repeated. “Think about what? You're _mine_! There's nothing to think about!” 

Fear gripped Jared as Jensen yelled at him. “I-I know, but I just wanna think about a few things!” he argued. “You're always shoving me around! And-And making me do things for you! But you won't answer me when I ask you questions. And last night, you wouldn't even cuddle with me after we – well, you know! I'm a _person_ , Jensen! And I wanna be alone right now.”

Therapy – Jared had been with the good doc. She probably told Jared all kinds of good things about Jensen. “You were with Doc, weren't you?” Jensen asked, eyes searching Jared's face. “Did she tell you to do this?” His anger was rising – he was going to lose control in a minute. His hand fisted in the front of Jared's shirt. “Did that bitch make you think you're not mine?!”

“Jensen stop, please?” Jared begged, fingers wrapping around Jensen's wrist. “I-I never said I wasn't yours. I _am_ yours. I just...you hurt my feelings last night, okay?” His cheeks blushed at the admission. “I wanted you to hold me for a little bit after, and you didn't. It felt like you were rejecting me. S-So I just wanna take a minute to stop feeling that way. Okay? Let me go? Please?”

Jensen's eyes blazed as he searched Jared's face. “Don't act like that,” he ordered. “If I was rejecting you, I wouldn't have been with you in the first place. I would have gone after someone else when I got back from my forced visitation.” Releasing Jared, Jensen continued, “I don't do the whole cuddling thing. When I cum, it's done – there's no point in staying to talk.” Turning towards Dr. Ferris's office, Jensen started to walk away, mumbling behind himself, “Get over it.”

When he was released, Jared felt tears pricking the backs of his eyes once more. Clearly, that was something they didn't see eye-to-eye on. There _was_ a point in staying to cuddle. It was to make the other person feel like they were special. Like they were loved, and it wasn't just about finding a warm body to get off with. Or maybe that's what it had been to Jensen. Sniffling, Jared started off towards his room, just wanting to be alone right now.

**~~**

As soon as he walked into the room, Jensen was on edge. He noticed that Samantha was sitting in her chair, waiting for him. Angrily, he slammed the door, feeling that satisfied tingle inside himself when she jumped. “Afternoon, Doc,” he greeted. He didn't move to the couch today like he always did, instead stalking towards the desk. He had his sights on that letter opener.

Today, Samantha was in no mood for Jensen's attitude. Although she knew that it was against policy, she needed to get it through Jensen's head that Jared was off limits to him. “What the hell are you doing with Jared Padalecki?” she demanded, standing from her chair as she turned on Jensen. “You're _not_ good for that boy! And if you know what's good for you, you'll stay the hell away from him!”

He knew it. This bitch was trying to ruin him. “If I know what's good for me?” he asked, swiping the weapon from the desk before Samantha even turned her attention on him. “What are you gonna do to me if I don't leave him alone? Huh? Call Charles and tell him I've been a bad boy?” Slowly, Jensen started toward Samantha again, keeping his hand that held the blade tucked close to his side so she couldn't see her surprise.

“Or maybe you'll tell Jeffrey that I've been sneaking around the hallways making Jared my little bitch?” he continued, making it clear that he wasn't afraid of her. “Go ahead and do it. You'll only get Jared in trouble right along with me. And I don't think little Jared could handle solitary. He's...a social person. He needs human contact.”

Samantha's eyes ticked to the floor when Jensen explained that Jared would get in trouble if she told Jeffrey. That had been her plan – Jeffrey could handle Jensen and punish him for not following protocol. After all, Jeffrey was a good guy – he hadn't been corrupted by Jensen like much of the staff here. But she didn't want Jared to get into trouble. This wasn't his fault.

Jensen saw his opening as soon as Samantha looked away from him. Stepping in front of her, he thrust the letter opener forward. It felt amazing when the blade slid into her gut – Jensen had almost forgotten what this feeling was like. “I warned you that if you tried to interfere with what's mine, I'd make you regret it.”

Angrily, Jensen yanked the letter opener from Samantha's abdomen, watching as she fell to the ground. He had to give her props for not giving up as he watched her slowly dragging herself towards her desk. He kicked out, foot connecting with Samantha's already injured abdomen, forcing her onto her back. “Jared is _mine_!” he hissed. He landed another sharp kick when she rolled onto her belly again. “You think you can save him from me?! Like he fucking needs your help!”

Luckily, Jensen's kicks just accelerated Samantha towards her desk, although they hurt like a bitch. When she was close enough, she reached up, her hand shaking as she pressed the hidden button under the desk. Blood poured from between her fingers as she applied pressure to the wound. She needed to get as far away from Jensen as she could.

Seeing that Samantha was reaching for the desk, Jensen quickly closed the small gap between them. This bitch was going to stay on the ground where she belonged – _permanently_. “He doesn't _need_ you, Doc!” he screamed. Crouching over her body, Jensen gripped a handful of her hair in his hands, pulling her head back at an awkward angle. “He knows who he belongs to.” The sharp edge of the blade pressed against Samantha's exposed throat. “And he knows who he _needs_.”

Just as he was about to land the killing blow, Jensen felt something pressing against his side. Before he had time to react, the trigger was pulled, Jensen's body convulsing violently as 1,200 volts of electricity shot through him. He fell to the ground, letter opener sliding away from him as he continued to experience spasms.

While Jeffrey handled Jensen, Alona moved towards Samantha. “Oh God,” she breathed, jaw clenched as she stared at her coworker in horror. For a minute, she was frozen to the spot. She'd never responded to something like this before – Jim usually handled the distress calls. But he was dealing with a patient right now, so Alona had offered to go along.

She heard Jeffrey scream her name. Quickly, she jumped into action. Her hands pressed against the wound in Samantha's abdomen, applying more pressure than Samantha's injured body could provide. “We need to get her out of here. Now!” she ordered. “Get on the walkie and call for backup! She's losing too much blood!”


	9. Chapter Nine

Something wasn't right. It was the middle of the afternoon, and the orderlies were ushering everyone to their rooms. Of course, there was the chance that this was a drill, but Jared didn't think that was the case. It didn't feel like a typical drill – it felt like there was tension in the air. It was so thick, Jared could practically cut it with a knife. “What's going on?” he asked Christian as he was hustled to his room.

“There's been an accident,” Christian explained, head hanging as he thought about Samantha. She was a good person. She hadn't deserved what happened to her. Right now, her life was hanging in the balance, and Christian couldn't help but feel a little bit responsible. He'd spoken to Jensen on multiple occasions about how he'd felt about her. Christian knew that Jensen hated her. At one point, he even recalled Jensen saying that he wanted to _see what her insides looked like on her outside_. He should have seen this coming.

Frowning, Jared asked, “An accident? What happened?” Fear gripped him tightly as he thought about Jensen. He hadn't seen him since he had stormed off this afternoon after their little talk. Jared had been so mean to him.”Is-Is Jensen all right?” 

Honestly, Christian didn't really know how to answer that question. On the one hand, physically, Jensen was fine. Sure, he'd hurt like a motherfucker when he woke up, but other than that, he was fine. But he was facing some serious charges here. Attempted murder, assault and battery – Jensen had really fucked up this time. He'd been in trouble on multiple occasions before. Christian just wasn't sure how many more chances Jensen was going to get before they shipped him out of here and threw him in lock up.

He didn't want to think about this. Christian just wanted to go back to this morning with the knowledge he had now and stop all of this. But he knew that wasn't possible. This was real life, not some fairy tale. And in real life, people got hurt. And sometimes, good people died. “I don't know,” he finally answered, shaking his head.

Jared felt his heart thundering against his chest at Christian's answer. “What-What do you mean you don't know?!” he asked, his steps faltering. This wasn't happening. Jensen was fine. He had to be. “Was he in an accident?! Christian, did something happen to him?!”

There was really no time for Jared to have a panic attack. While Christian was sympathetic, he just couldn't be his usual self here. There were protocols he had to follow – Jared needed to get to his room so the lock down could commence. “He's not the one who got hurt, if that's what you're asking,” Christian clarified. It was hard to keep the anger out of his voice.

Although Jared was glad that Jensen wasn't hurt, Christian's explanation was a little unnerving. “Did he hurt someone?” Jared asked. “Christian, what happened? Please, I need to know.”

When they finally reached Jared's room, Christian motioned for him to go inside. “Jared, I can't talk right now,” he snapped. His eyes softened when he realized that he was taking his anger out on the wrong person. “Look, I'm sorry,” he mumbled, head hanging. “We're all on edge here. Jensen really screwed up this time. And I don't know what's going to happen to him. But right now, I'm a little bit more worried about Samantha.”

At the mention of Dr. Ferris, all of the color drained from Jared's face. “What happened to Dr. Ferris?” he asked, trying to fight Christian when he all but shoved him into his room. “Christian, please, you have to tell me! Did Jensen hurt Dr. Ferris?!”

“He nearly killed her!” Christian finally screamed, enraged. “He went in for his appointment, and he beat her, and he stabbed her! He would have slit her throat if Jeffrey hadn't gotten there when he did! So no, Jared, I don't know if Jensen is okay! But right now, I _need_ to follow protocol! This place is on lock down until further notice!”

Without another word, Christian slammed Jared's door shut. He turned on his heels before he made his way to the main lobby, meeting up with Steve there. “Have we heard anything?” he asked, pulling his lover into a warm embrace. 

Sadly, Steve shook his head. “Alona and Jim have her in surgery,” he explained. “They haven't been out to give us an update yet.” Shifting on his feet, Steve added, “Jeffrey said Jensen's awake. He's in solitary for now. Just until we can get a hold of Charles and figure out what we should do with him. So far, we've called him three times, but he hasn't gotten back to us.”

A deep frown marred Christian's features as he listened to the update on Jensen. “I just wish I knew what happened,” he admitted. “I mean, Jensen was never really a fan of Samantha, but he'd never hurt her before. He'd never actually gone off the rails like this.” Seeing that Steve was giving him _the look_ , Christian sighed. “I know, he's hurt people in the past here. _A lot_ of people. But Samantha? She's one of the sweetest people I know. How could anybody want to hurt her?!”

It was obvious his boyfriend was hurting. And he wanted to help – he just didn't know how. Christian had a soft spot for Jensen. Steve had been trying to understand it since he had started dating Christian, but he couldn't. Jensen was a monster – a _killer_. He was unpredictable, and he was dangerous. Steve just didn't understand why Christian couldn't see that. “Well, you've seen her notes, Chris,” he tried to explain. “She'd been pushing him harder lately – trying to make him open up to her. Maybe she just pushed too hard, and he snapped. It's terrible, but it happens in this line of work.”

Although Christian knew that it was a risk of working here, he had just wanted to see some good in Jensen. In the three years he'd known Jensen, the other man had never lashed out at him in a negative way. Actually, they were really good friends. At least, Christian thought they were. “I just wish I would have been paying closer attention to him. Maybe...I could have seen the signs and stopped him. He was just talking the other day about how much he hated her. I should have...I don't know, reported it, or something!”

Not liking where this train of thought was going at all, Steve shushed his lover. “Honey, don't say that,” he argued. “This isn't your fault! There's no way you could have known what Jensen was planning on doing! You're not inside his head! He's the only one in control of his own actions. You need to keep the blame where it belongs – on Jensen. And _only_ Jensen.”

**~~**

Jared sighed in frustration as he shifted on his bed. This was all his fault. He should have just kept his mouth shut. Maybe if he had, Dr. Ferris would be okay right now. And Jensen would probably be here with him. But now, he was God only knew where! And it was _all_ Jared's fault. From the way Christian had described it, Dr. Ferris was in real danger – there was a chance she wasn't going to pull through. How could Jared live with himself if she died?

And the even more disturbing thing was that although Dr. Ferris was potentially on her deathbed, all Jared could worry about was Jensen. There was a chance that Jensen was facing criminal charges here, and he could be taken away. If that happened, Jared would probably never see him again. Surely, he'd never be able to kiss him again. Or hold him again. Or have any kind of human contact with him _ever_ again.

The thought had Jared's insides churning. He felt like he was being ripped apart. Like something had reached into his chest and it was just squeezing so tightly that he was about to explode. He couldn't catch his breath. His skin was tingling with the need to _feel_. Jensen was leaving him. And while it wasn't necessarily voluntary, it was happening nonetheless. Why did everyone leave him?!

Unable to sit any longer, Jared shoved himself off of the bed. He groaned in frustration when he heard fabric ripping, glaring down at his hospital pants. They'd caught on a piece of the bed frame that was jutting out. Dammit, he didn't have many clean pairs of pants left.

His breath hitched in his throat as he stared at the metal. It was sharp. He could use it if he really tried. Sure, it wasn't ideal, and the risk of infection would be greater because this bed wasn't exactly the cleanest, but he was in no position to be picky. 

Blood pounded in his ears as Jared bit into his bottom lip. The vibrating hum of his skin was almost overwhelming now. Tears slipped down his cheeks as he thought about what he'd lost with Jensen. Sure, they'd been in the beginning stages of whatever they had, but Jared felt the loss so deeply already. His fist clenched and unclenched rhythmically as he dragged his forearm across the ragged metal.

Thick, red blood instantly pooled at the wound, dribbling over and sliding down Jared's forearm. He panted out his breaths as he focused on the sting of the new cut on his arm instead of the pain of losing Jensen. His tongue dragged over his lips as he leaned back against the bed, cradling his injured arm in his other hand. As the blood continued to drip, Jared just watched, letting it take him away from all of his current problems.

**~~**

Pain radiated through his entire body, starting at his ribcage and moving through every inch of him. Groaning, he pushed to his feet. That's when he realized that he was in chains. “Kinky,” he mused, staring at the metal binding him both at the wrists and the ankles. One look around the room and he knew exactly where he was – solitary.

He'd been here many times before. Every time he did something the orderlies deemed _inappropriate_ , they'd ship him here. The cuffs were a new touch, though. Apparently, defending what's yours was frowned upon these days. 

Taking a seat on the worn cot, Jensen studied the room. There had to be something in here that he could use to pick these locks. He didn't want to be in here. He needed to go find Jared before the younger man found about Samantha. Jensen didn't need one of those jealous fucks out there to twist the story in an attempt to make Jared hate him.

Suddenly, there was a loud beep that sounded through the room moments before the door opened. Danneel stepped through the door, quickly closing it behind herself. “Oh God, Jen,” she breathed, taking in the way he was chained up like some kind of criminal. 

“Don't call me that!” he snapped, glaring at his new visitor. No one called him that – _only_ Jared. “What are you doing just standing there? Get me the hell out of these things.” He extended his arms to her, giving her better access to the cuffs around his wrists.

A deep frown came to Danneel's lips when Jensen yelled at her. She could understand that he was on edge, but that didn't mean he had to be rude to her. She'd heard Jared use the shortened version of his name once while he was talking to Misha, so she didn't think it was a big deal. “I can't,” she finally answered, sadly shaking her head. “I don't have keys for those.”

Of course she didn't have the keys. Surprise, surprise – once again, Danneel had proven herself to be useless. “Then what the hell are you doing here?” he demanded, his voice low and cold. 

Her frown deepened at Jensen's response. “I came here to check on you,” she answered, a little hurt that he even had to ask. “I heard what happened. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Biting into her bottom lip, Danneel hung her head. “I care about you, Jensen.”

Anger filled him as he turned his attention back to the room. If there was anything he could use as a lock pick, he'd find it if he just looked hard enough. “Yeah, I'll bet you do,” he grumped. He could have cared less about Danneel, so why she was in here bothering him was way beyond him. “Look, if you can't help me out of these things, then you can just leave. I'd rather not have you in here trying to...talk about your feelings, or whatever it is you're doing.”

Hurt hit her like a punch. She thought she and Jensen had shared something special. Apparently, it was just one sided, after all. “They've called Charles,” Danneel explained. “It took them a while, but they finally got a hold of him.” Noticing that Jensen wasn't really paying attention to her, Danneel yelled, “Jensen, this is _serious_! He's on his way here now. They're going to take you away!”

Angrily, Jensen turned his attention to Danneel. “I am not afraid of some parole officer and his band of fairies,” he promised Danneel. “Now, I believe I asked you to leave me alone. I won't ask again.”

His eyes followed Danneel as she stormed out of the room. He didn't have time for this right now. He needed to find something useful. And Danneel had proven that she wasn't useful, so he was done with her. Now, he was just focusing on getting the hell out of here so he could get back to Jared. Clearly, the kid needed a refresher course on who the hell he belonged to. Samantha had almost gotten inside Jared's head, but Jensen had made sure that wasn't going to happen again.

**~~**

It felt like hours before the door opened again. Jensen's eyes landed on the body walking through the door, a grimace on his lips. Apparently, Charles was coming to play today. “Charles,” he smirked, waiting for the soft _click_ to indicate the door had closed. “If I had known an attack on the good doctor was all it took to get you down here, I would have acted sooner.”

Keeping his distance for now, Charles glared at Jensen. “Still making jokes, are you?” he asked, shaking his head. “This is a serious offense you just pulled, Jensen. Attempted murder on your psychiatrist. I thought you were smarter than that.”

 _Attempted_ murder? Damn, the bitch had survived. “I got bored,” Jensen answered with a shrug. “Besides, I warned her that if she tried to touch my stuff again, I was going to make her regret it.” Tilting his head to the side, Jensen asked, “Do you think she regrets it, Chief?”

The smile that Jensen was giving him had him all in knots. Charles slowly made his way to Jensen, stopping just a few feet in front of him. “Do you understand what this means?” he asked. “You're going to the big house, Jensen. Finally, there's nothing keeping us from charging you as a criminal. And I don't think your precious jury can get you out of it this time. Even they're going to want to lock you up and throw away the key when they hear what you've been up to in here for the last three years.”

Again, Jensen smiled up at Charles. “Is that your big plan?” he asked. “Haul me off to prison? _Hope_ that a jury will convict me this time? And what happens when they don't? Huh? You're just going to be bringing me _right back here_. So why waste your time?”

In his anger, Charles took a step closer without thinking. “The jury _will_ convict you this time, Jensen!” he yelled. “I have all of your records from this place! All of the attacks! And now the attack on Samantha! Not to mention all of her notes saying just how fucked up you really are! There is no way out of this.”

“There is one way,” Jensen argued. Seeing the confused look on Charles' face, Jensen kicked out as far as the chains around his ankles would let him. His foot connected with Charles' shin, sending the man to his knees with a cry. As Charles fell, Jensen surged forward. He used the chain connecting his wrists and his ankles together, wrapping it around Charles neck. With just a little bit of pressure, he heard the satisfying snap of bone.

Quickly, Jensen unwound the chain from the parole officer's neck. It didn't take him long to find the keys to the cuffs, Jensen snatching them from Charles' lifeless body. He then grabbed the visitor's pass hanging from Charles' neck, and the gun that was in his holster. Checking to make sure the gun was loaded, Jensen pulled to his feet.

He wasn't going anywhere with anyone. He used the keys to free himself before tossing them back on Charles' chest. Jensen slowly pulled open the door, just a crack. His eyes scanned the hospital floor, checking to see who was nearby. Luckily, it seemed like the wing was cleared out for the most part. There was a woman sitting at the reception desk, but her face was stuffed in her phone. Jensen could easily get by her without a problem.

Mind made up, Jensen pushed his way out of the room, closing the door behind himself. He didn't need anyone finding Charles just yet. After all, there were some things Jensen needed to get done before he left here. First thing was first, he needed to find Jared. He wasn't leaving this hospital without him.

**~~**

The wound on his forearm had scabbed over for the most part already. The pain was all but gone at this point. It hadn't lasted long. Jared remembered when he had done that in the past, it had taken the emotional hurt off his mind for hours at a time. Then again, he hadn't checked the clock, so maybe it had been hours. But he was back to thinking about Jensen. He missed him so much. He'd been an idiot to suggest that they take some time. Jared didn't want his space. He wanted his criminally insane boyfriend.

Slowly, he pushed himself off of the floor. He moved toward his dresser, looking around for a new pair of hospital pants since his had a hole in them. Once he found a pair, he tossed them onto the bed. His fingers tucked into the waistband of his pants, tugging them down his legs and kicking them off toward the door.

Without warning, the vent in his room crashed to the ground, causing Jared to jump. Before he knew it, Jensen was in front of him, moss green eyes slightly wide as he saw Jared's state of undress. Jared didn't even realize his hand moved to cover himself until it was already too late. “J-Jensen,” he breathed, glancing back up at the wall where the vent was. “How did you get in there? I thought you were in solitary. You know, after...what happened with Dr. Ferris.”

Jensen's fingers slapped Jared's hand away from his crotch so he could have a better view. He'd been planning on having some fun with Jared after they'd gotten out of here. But he was already half naked, so Jensen was tempted to take him right now. “I got out,” he explained with a one-shouldered shrug. “Came here to get you. We're getting out of here.”

“What?” Jared asked, giving his head a small shake. “How? Jensen, there's no way they're going to let us out. Not after what you did. And in case you forgot, we're patients here. We can't just come and go as we please. There's just no way –”

A finger pressed against Jared's lips quickly quieted him. “Stop asking questions,” Jensen ordered. “You're wasting time. Just leave it all to me.” He smiled at Jared as he pulled his hand away from the younger man's mouth, fingers gripping Jared's hip. “But first...I wanna fuck you.”

Eyes widening, Jared shook his head. The only way Jensen could have gotten out of solitary this early was if he'd escaped – Jared knew that. If someone was tossed into solitary, they were there for a minimum of three days. And honestly, Jared was surprised that Jensen hadn't been shipped directly off to jail. “Jensen, tell me how you got out of solitary.”

Not listening to Jared, Jensen switched their positions so that Jared was standing closer to the bed. He then gave Jared a hard shove, crawling onto the bed after the younger man. “I got out,” he repeated when Jared asked about solitary again. “Don't worry about it, baby.” His hands slid up Jared's sides, wrapping around Jared's wrists as he forced the younger man's arms above his head. “Just let me fuck you.”

As Jensen allowed his eyes to rake over Jared's pinned body, the sight of something bright and red on Jared's forearm caught his attention. A cut – that hadn't been there last night when he'd been with Jared. Anger welled up inside Jensen, making him see red. “What the fuck is this, Jared?!” he asked, forcing Jared's arm at an awkward angle so the younger man could see it. “What the hell did I tell you yesterday?!”


	10. Chapter Ten

“Ow,” Jared cried out as his arm was bent at an awkward angle. His eyes widened when he realized what Jensen was talking about. “I...um...” he stumbled, knowing that however he decided to word this, it wasn't going to end well. Jensen was going to be pissed either way. “I cut myself,” he finally admitted. 

Anger surged through Jensen. Releasing Jared's arm, he quickly climbed off the younger man. He'd specifically told Jared just last night that he wasn't supposed to mark his body up anymore. Of course, Jared didn't seem to remember that. He hadn't answered him, after all. “Well?!” he demanded, turning his attention back to Jared once more. “What did I tell you?!”

Jared felt like he was going to be sick. He'd pissed Jensen off. But he was just trying to feel something. “You told me not to hurt myself again,” he answered. “But then you hurt Dr. Ferris and you _left_ me! And I didn't know if you were coming back!”

Moving towards the bed once more, Jensen asked, “What the hell does that have to do with anything?!” Jared thought just because Jensen was gone, he could hurt himself again? Well, he thought wrong! “Just because I hurt the damn doctor and they took me away doesn't make you any less mine! You could have seriously hurt yourself again! What the hell were you thinking?!”

Tears sprung up behind Jared's eyes. “I already told you!” he argued. “You left me! And this is what I do when I feel emotional pain so drastic that I feel like it's going to cripple me! I create _physical_ pain to drown it out!” A single tear slipped down his cheek, Jared quickly sliding the back of his hand over his face to wipe it away. “I just kept thinking that you weren't with me anymore. And it just...there was a part of the bed that ripped my pants, and I used it to cut my arm. But I'm fine!”

Oh yeah, he was fine alright. Jensen didn't want to see Jared cry. He didn't handle it well when people cried. “Stop crying,” he ordered, taking a seat next to Jared on the bed. “Listen to me.” Slowly, Jensen felt the anger bleeding from his body as Jared moved closer, tentative fingers brushing against the back of his hand. “I'm not going anywhere without you. I keep telling you that you're _mine_. Don't you listen?”

A small frown came to Jared's lips at Jensen's words. “I listen,” he assured the older man. “But Christian said they took you away. So, it wasn't really your choice that you were leaving me. I-I thought they were going to remove you from the hospital and ship you off to the big house. So...I just...needed it.”

Without thinking, Jensen fisted his hand in Jared's hair, pulling the younger man in for a deep, passionate kiss. By the time the kiss ended, they were both panting out their breaths. Jensen kept his hand in Jared's hair so he couldn't look away. “I'm _never_ leaving you,” he promised. “I told you that you're mine, and I meant it. I'll kill anyone who tries to get in the way of me having you.”

Although Jensen's words kind of scared him, they also filled Jared with love and a feeling of security. If Jensen had attacked Dr. Ferris because of what Jared had said, then he knew Jensen wasn't lying. But it also made Jared wonder just who else was in danger because of his and Jensen's relationship. But he didn't want to think about that right now. He wanted Jensen to show him who he belonged to again. 

Scooting just a bit closer, Jared bit into his bottom lip. “Prove it,” he challenged, his voice barely above a whisper. “Prove to me that you're never leaving me.” His cheeks flared red with embarrassment as he scooted just a bit closer. “Show me again. H-How I'm yours, Jen. Please?”

The blush that stole over Jared's features had Jensen's cock twitching in his pants. He knew they were playing with fire by having sex, but he couldn't resist. Not when Jared was begging him so prettily like that. Reaching behind his back, Jensen pulled the gun from his waistband, laying it on the nightstand. “I'll show you, baby. But we gotta hurry.” Gently, he shoved Jared onto his back, blanketing the younger man's body with his own. “We gotta get out of here before they find out I'm gone.”

Jared didn't miss the gun as Jensen placed it on the nightstand beside him. For a moment, he thought about asking Jensen where he'd gotten it, but he quickly decided against it. Instead, he moved his hands to Jensen's pants, tugging them down his thighs. “Get them off,” he breathed, only now remembering that he was naked from the waist down, and Jensen was still fully dressed.

Quickly, Jensen moved to help Jared with the task of taking his pants off. Once that was done, Jensen gripped the hem of Jared's T-shirt, yanking it off his body and tossing it to the floor. He then lifted his arms so Jared could remove his T-shirt as well. As soon as they were both naked, Jensen leaned in and crushed his lips against Jared's once more.

Pulling back, Jensen smiled down at Jared as he moved to straddle the younger man's chest. His right hand moved to the base of his cock as his left hand tangled in Jared's shaggy locks. “Suck it,” he instructed, pulling Jared up towards his dick. “Get it wet for me, baby.”

As soon as Jared's mouth was on his hard length, Jensen's head fell back in pleasure. A deep groan escaped him as his hand in Jared's hair tightened, holding on for dear life. “Oh God, baby," he moaned, biting into his bottom lip as he watched Jared work his cock with his mouth. God, it was enough to make him cum right there.

Before he lost it completely, Jensen pulled away. He was amazed how fast Jared could make him lose it. He'd never been like this with anyone before. Jared leaned back on his elbows while Jensen followed him for another kiss. When the kiss broke, Jensen pushed his index and middle fingers inside Jared's mouth, groaning softly as Jared sucked on the digits much like he'd been sucking on Jensen's dick just moments before. “God, so good, baby,” Jensen breathed. Quickly, Jensen pulled his fingers away from Jared's mouth, his right hand gripping Jared's cheeks and forcing his head to the side to expose his long neck to Jensen. 

Just as Jensen bit down on Jared's neck, he pushed on spit-slick finger inside Jared's hole, using the pain of his teeth to mask any pain Jared may have been feeling from his finger. Slowly, Jensen added a second finger after a few minutes, scissoring the digits inside Jared. “Mine,” he whispered against Jared's neck, tongue sliding along the bite mark he'd left there to ease the sting. 

Jared hissed in a mixture of pleasure and pain as Jensen pulled his fingers from him, the younger man's breaths panting out of him. A deep moan escaped him as Jensen slowly pushed into him. Although they'd just done this, it still hurt a little bit with the mediocre preparation. His left hand came up to grip Jensen's shoulder, fingers digging in hard enough to leave bruises as he breathed through the pain. He knew that once the initial pain stopped, it was going to feel amazing. “Ungh...Jen,” he moaned, biting into his bottom lip when he felt Jensen bottom out against him.

“Like that, don't you baby?” Jensen whispered, his whole body tense from holding still. He waited for a few minutes before he moved his hips experimentally. He bit into his bottom lip to suppress the moan that tried to escape when Jared responded to him. “Want me to show you who you belong to?” he breathed, waiting for a few more seconds before he started moving.

At first, Jensen started slow, pulling out just a little bit before sliding back in. Jared's leg hooked around his thigh as he started moving, giving the younger man more leverage. Jensen liked that Jared was so eager, forcing Jensen to pick up his pace until he was practically slamming back inside of Jared. The bed rocked with their movements. Jared panted in Jensen's ear as he pressed his face into the younger man's neck. Jared's scent was so much more intense here, driving Jensen wild with need. He slid his tongue over Jared's shoulder before he sucked the skin between his teeth.

With each thrust, Jensen was hitting Jared's prostate, causing him to groan softly in pleasure. "Jen," he mumbled. “Ungh...Jen, please? M'gonna...Jen,” Jared begged, his hips rocking upwards as Jensen pulled back, rubbing his hard shaft against Jensen's belly before slamming backwards to meet Jensen's hard thrusts. “Jen...Oh my God.”

Jensen was close. He could feel his release starting low in his belly as Jared begged him. “Do it, baby," he moaned against Jared's skin. “Cum for me.” As if Jared had been waiting for permission, Jensen felt his lover's spunk coat his abdomen. Their bodies were slick with Jared's release. Jensen continued to thrust in and out of Jared. It wasn't long before he felt his balls draw up close to his body, exploding inside his lover. Jensen barely remembered to roll off of Jared. He collapsed onto his back on the mattress, completely sated.

Before Jared had a chance to try to cuddle with him again, Jensen pushed himself off the mattress. “Get up,” he ordered. “Get dressed. We have to get out of here.” His eyes ticked to Jared's door as he pulled his pants back on, making sure no unwanted visitors were trying to make themselves known. Luckily, it didn't seem that anyone was trying to get in yet, so he figured they hadn't found Charles yet. Either that, or they just didn't know to look for him in Jared's room.

Quickly, Jensen tucked the gun back into his waistband, checking his pocket to make sure the visitor's badge was still safely tucked in there. Satisfied that he was ready, Jensen moved towards the door. Unfortunately, it was locked from the outside. Sighing, he made his way back to the air vent. “Looks like we're traveling through the air ducts to get out of here.”

“W-What do you mean get out of here?” Jared asked, tugging his shirt back into place. “We're on lock down, Jensen. Christian said we're not allowed to leave our rooms until he comes around to get us.” It suddenly occurred to Jared that Jensen wasn't exactly one to follow the rules, so he had no idea why he was even bothering. “I mean...you listen to Christian, right? You guys are friends?”

Brows knit in confusion, Jensen shook his head. “I don't have friends,” he assured the younger man. “If Christian tries to stop us from leaving, I'll have no choice but to go through him.” Jensen was convinced this place was trying to keep him from Jared. He'd thought about leaving before, but nothing had pushed him that far to the edge – until now. He knew if he wanted to keep Jared by his side, the only way to do that was to get the hell out of here. “Follow me up.”

Without hesitation, Jensen gripped the edge of the duct, pulling himself into the wall. This time, he waited to make sure Jared was following him before he proceeded. After all, Jensen had a feeling that Jared had never been through the air vents before, so he would need to follow Jensen around until they got to a spot where they could climb out. Jared wasn't exactly the _rule breaking_ type, from what Jensen could tell.

Although Jared was still so confused about everything, he followed Jensen. After all, he'd learned just a few hours ago that being with Jensen was a lot better than being without Jensen. Honestly, Jared thought he may be in love with Jensen. But they'd only known each other for a little while now, and he didn't want to open his mouth and screw everything up, so he was going to keep that to himself for now.

It seemed like forever as they crawled through the ceilings. Jared's arms and knees were sore by the time Jensen finally kicked in a vent and dropped out of the duct, Jared quickly following behind. When his feet hit the ground, Jared realized that they were right around Dr. Ferris' office. “What now?” Jared asked, glancing around the empty hallway.

Voices coming down the hall toward them drew their attention. Quickly, Jensen grabbed Jared's wrist, yanking him into Samantha's office and closing the door. He kept Jared pressed firmly against the wall, his body pinning Jared's to the wall as his hand pressed over Jared's mouth to keep him quiet as he listened.

“Well, she's not out of the woods yet,” Alona explained. “But Dr. Beaver was able to stop the bleeding and repair the kidney tear, so that's good news. He said we're going to monitor her tonight and tomorrow, and then he'll make a better evaluation. But as far as he's concerned, as long as she makes it through the night, and wakes up, she should be fine.”

Nodding, Christian smiled at the news. “Well, that's good news,” he sighed. “When I heard about what happened, I was so worried. I just don't understand what made Jensen snap like that. You'll let me know when she's allowed to have visitors.”

Faintly, Jensen heard Alona tell Christian she'd let him know before their voices just disappeared. When he was sure they were gone, he released Jared. Moving towards the door, he gripped the handle, ready to pull it open, only to have Jared stop him. “What?” he asked, his annoyance showing in his voice. They didn't have time for this.

Jared gathered that they were in a hurry from all of Jensen's previous comments, but he just had to know what happened to make him _snap_ as Christian had called it. “Why?” he asked, licking his lips as he ducked his head. “Why did you do it? Why hurt Dr. Ferris?”

A deep frown came to Jensen's lips at the question. “Why does it matter?” he asked, shaking his head. Jared's answer was merely a shrug. “Look, I didn't like the bitch. And when she tried to take you away from me, she needed to be stopped.” Reaching up, Jensen fisted his hand in Jared's hair, moss green eyes locked on Jared's scared, champagne hazels. “I'll kill anyone who tries to take you away from me. I told you that.”

That's what Jared had been afraid of. His earlier suspicions were now proven to be true, and he was a little bit scared by just how much he didn't care. Dr. Ferris had been attacked because of him, and Jared couldn't be bothered to care – all he cared about was the love he felt rushing through his body because Jensen wasn't willing to lose him. “I know you did,” he assured Jensen. “I just...wanted to know for sure.”

They didn't have time for this – Jensen knew that. But with the way Jared was looking at him, there was no way he could stop himself from dragging the younger man in for another deep kiss. “You're _mine_ ,” he promised once more, releasing Jared before he pulled the door open. “Come on. They're gone.”

It didn't take long before Jensen had them at the back entrance. Unfortunately, the visitor's pass wouldn't work there. “Dammit,” he ground out. “Looks like we're going through the front, baby.” He'd been hoping to keep a low profile and make it out of here without too much attention being drawn to them, but that clearly wasn't going to happen now. Then again, the staff here was pretty oblivious to everything, so Jensen figured they might still have a chance.

He managed to get them to the lobby before they stumbled upon Genevieve. “J-Jensen,” she stuttered, backing away from the other man. “I thought they had you in solitary.” Her eyes widened even further when she saw Jared following behind him. Clearly, there had to be some kind of mistake. Jared never broke the rules. “Look, whatever you're planning on doing, don't,” she suggested. “You're only going to make this worse on yourself, Jensen.”

Jensen's fingers twitched as he fought the urge to pull the gun out of his waistband. He hadn't forgotten that Genevieve had a crush on Jared, and he wanted to make her hurt for that. But he knew that firing off a shot right now would only have Jeffrey coming to investigate. “Trust me when I tell you, it's not a smart idea to tell me what to do,” he warned her. Reaching for Jared, Jensen gripped the younger man's wrist, a small smirk coming to his lips. He didn't miss the way her eyes followed his hand on Jared.

His eyes ticked towards the front desk, quickly surveying the area for anything he could use as a weapon. After all, there was no way he could let Genevieve live. She'd seen them – she would tell someone about their encounter, and the element of surprise would be lost. She had to go. The signature smirk he wore on a daily basis slid over his features when his eyes landed on the scissors. 

Slowly, Jensen released Jared's wrist, stalking towards the front desk. He noticed that Genevieve's eyes didn't leave Jared, which pissed him off even more. Maybe he'd make it hurt a little more than necessary when he killed her. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her take a step towards the younger man. His fingers closed around the scissors as he yanked them out of the holder, spilling pens and pencils all over the desk when the holder tipped on its side.

Not taking any chances, Jensen clapped his hand over Genevieve's mouth. Drawing his arm back, he thrust forward with enough force to send the dull edges of the scissors through Genevieve's back, twisting once for good measure just to make sure pain was inflicted. “Stay the fuck away from him,” he growled, pulling the scissors out of Genevieve's body only to drive them back in higher up. When he released her, she fell to the ground, gasping for air as her punctured lung slowly deflated.

Deciding that the scissors could come in handy if they came into contact with other members of the staff, Jensen gripped them tightly in his hand for safe keeping. “Jared, let's go,” he ordered. When Jared didn't immediately follow, Jensen rolled his eyes. “Jared, we have to go. _Now_ ,” he explained, fingers of his free hand wrapping around Jared's wrist before he all but dragged him from the lobby.

Jared felt like he couldn't breathe. His body was moving only because Jensen was dragging him along after him. He'd never seen a human being die before. Sure, he'd seen it on television when he was watching a particularly violent show or movie, but never in real life. And certainly never just a few feet away from him. The way Genevieve's eyes had widened in a mixture of fear and pain was going to haunt Jared's dreams, he was sure.

“Hey!” Jensen hissed, shaking Jared to get his attention. “What the hell is the matter with you? Pay attention!” The sound of the alarm going off had Jensen figuring that they'd finally realized he was no longer in solitary. It was time for plan B. Pretty soon, this place was going to be crawling with orderlies and Jensen knew he couldn't take them all on at once.

Seeing someone moving towards him, Jensen shoved Jared back against the wall. He then wasted no time before he sprung into action. The scissors slid into the worker's gut easily enough, blood coating Jensen's hand as he tossed the man away from him. Vaguely, he noticed that it was Steve bleeding out on the floor. Christian was going to be pissed. 

Without sparing another thought to Steve, Jensen grabbed Jared once more, dragging him towards the exit. The kid was like dead weight behind him, which was starting to get very irritating. The sooner they were out of here, the better.

A gunshot rang through the air, Jensen groaning in frustration as white hot pain shot through his bicep. His eyes ticked down to the source of the pain, face scrunched into a scowl when he realized the bullet had grazed his arm. Quickly, he dragged Jared in front of him, finally pulling the gun from its hiding place before he pointed it at Jared's head. “Don't shoot, or I swear to God, I'll kill the kid!” he warned.

Panic had Jared's heart hammering in his chest so hard he was afraid it was going to beat right out of his chest. “Jensen?” he mumbled, wiggling in the older man's grasp. However, when Jensen tightened his grip, Jared quickly stopped. Honestly, he was a little scared that he wasn't going to make it out of this hospital, after all. “What are you doing?”

Completely ignoring Jared, Jensen watched as Jeffrey put his hands up in surrender. “Drop the gun and kick it over here to me,” he ordered. Jeffrey didn't listen right away. Figuring that he needed some more convincing, Jensen clicked the safety off his own gun, eyes locked on Jeffrey's. “I'll blow his fucking brains out.”

That was all of the convincing Jeffrey needed. The gun slid towards them, Jensen stopping it from going too far with his foot. “Pick it up,” he ordered Jared, giving the younger man a shove to get his attention. 

As soon as Jared bent over to get the gun, Jensen fired off a shot. He watched with fascination as the bullet hit its mark, embedding itself between Jeffrey's eyes. The older man's eyes didn't even close as he fell to the ground in a heap. Jensen hadn't had the pleasure of using a gun to kill someone before, but he had to admit he sort of liked it. 

When the gun went off, Jared jumped, nearly dropping Jeffrey's gun as he straightened to his full height. “Oh my God, Jensen!” he shrieked, eyes wide as he stared at Jeffrey's corpse. He didn't realize he'd spoken until Jensen's eyes landed on him. He was shaking like a leaf. Fear was running through his whole body, all but freezing Jared in place.

“What?” Jensen asked, genuinely confused. “He needed to go. The alarm is going off. This visitor's pass isn't going to open that door.” He grabbed Jared's wrist as he tugged him towards the door. Showing absolutely no remorse, Jensen fished through Jeffrey's pockets for his badge, quickly swiping it over the keypad when he found it. He then used the override code Danneel had given him a few weeks back to open the door. Again, he grabbed Jared and all but dragged the younger man out the door, letting it slam closed behind him.

Jensen wasted no time getting them to the parking garage at the bottom of the three flights of stairs. Once they burst through those doors, Jensen turned towards Jared. “Give me that,” he ordered gently, taking the gun from Jared's shaking hands and tucking it into his waistband. He then found them a car, breaking the window so he could unlock the passenger side door. “Get in.”

Once Jared was in the car, he unlocked the driver's side so Jensen could get behind the wheel. It didn't take long before Jensen had the car hot wired, the older man peeling out of the lot. He wanted to put as much distance between them and that hospital as possible.

**~~**

After driving for about thirty minutes, Jensen finally broke the silence. “What's wrong with you?” he asked, eyes ticking to Jared briefly before they returned to the road. 

Honestly, Jared had no idea where to start. “You killed people,” he finally muttered, biting into his bottom lip. “And...you didn't even care. You...looked like you _liked_ it.” Jared could still see the looks on Jensen's victims' faces – and he remembered the look on Jensen's face, too.

“I did like it,” Jensen admitted, not even a little bit ashamed. “You can't tell me you didn't feel that adrenaline running through your veins. It was us or them – I chose us. I killed them because they deserved it, baby. You know that, right?” Brows knit in confusion, Jensen spared another glance to Jared. “Do you have a problem with that?”

Fear gripped Jared tightly as he thought about his answer. “I just...I don't see why you had to kill them,” he finally explained. 

This is why Jensen didn't date. “They were going to split us up,” Jensen explained. “If they didn't die, they were going to take me back to solitary and then ship me off to prison. And then you'd have been left there alone. Without me. Is that what you wanted?”

Quickly, Jared shook his head, eyes ticking to Jensen. “No!” he answered, eyes wide. “I just...wish there was a better way.” Biting into his bottom lip, Jared ducked his head. “You scared me back there. When-When you had that gun pointed at me.”

Although he was trying to put as much distance between them and the hospital, Jensen jerked the wheel when he saw an alley, parking the car where no one could see it unless they were looking. He then reached for Jared, fingers carding through the younger man's shaggy hair. “Baby, I had to do that,” he whispered. “Jeffrey wasn't going to shoot you. I had to get the gun away from him somehow. But you were safe the whole time.” Leaning in, Jensen brushed his lips against Jared's. “I'd never let anything happen to you, baby.”

The tears Jared had been keeping held back until now started flowing down his cheeks. “I know you wouldn't,” he whispered, actually surprised by his own words. “I was just...it was a lot to take in. I've never...seen anyone die before. It was...a lot.”

Again, Jensen leaned in, crushing his lips against Jared's. “Just forget about it, baby,” he whispered. “You don't have to ever think about it again. We're never going back there.” Another deep kiss, Jensen's free hand moving to push up Jared's T-shirt. “You're mine. And m'gonna do everything it takes to keep you that way, baby.”

Jared's breaths were panting out of him after the kiss broke. “I'm yours,” he promised, hand moving to cup Jensen's cheek. “And you're mine?” His bottom lip caught between his teeth as he waited for the answer. There was nothing here to interrupt them this time.

A wide grin came to Jensen's lips at Jared's question. “Oh baby, you're never getting rid of me,” he promised, dragging Jared back in for another deep kiss.


End file.
